I. Government and Laws
This first chapter starts out with a quote. "Order is Heaven's first law."
I love that about this textbook, each chapter starts with a quote that means something. The first chapter taught me that the word 'government' comes from the Latin word gubernator. Which I knew, but the meaning therefore, means one who steers, guides, or is a pilot. Therefore, "the word government means guidance or management." So the book is a study of government, meaning "how the affairs of mankind are managed; how men and women are guided in their journey through the world amidst other men and women; how society is held together and controlled. The study is of great importance, and should be of great interest, for the happiness of men depends largely upon the kind of government that guides and controls their lives."
Interestingly enough, it talks of children's different governments to whom they are under, and the benefits and consequences therein. The first is the government of the parents. Then the government of the school and home. Last is the government of the city, state, or nation. The first section of the book addresses the three of these and has so much awesome wisdom and truth I wish they used this textbook in schools today. The reading level itself is of a higher quality than what high schoolers are reading today in public schools.
Another quote: "If the governments that control us are wise, and just, and kind, we are made happier by them; if they are harsh, or foolish, or tyrannical, our lives are made miserable by them. By studying and understanding the different forms of government under which we live we may prepare ourselves to make them better."
Have a great Thursday! I'm working from 2:30-11 tonight and only the Lord is going to get me through. This is a long week with too many hours...I can't wait till after Christmas.
--MovingGirl
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Essentials in Civil Government: the preface
For the next who-knows-how-many days I will be posting an excerpt and quote from an old book I found in a musty box sitting on the warehouse floor of an antique shop. When I first opened the cover, something about the first page struck me as being totally obsolete and at the same time, so intriguing. Underneath the title, Essentials in Civil Government, were the words 'a text-book for use in schools'. Something about those words struck an odd chord in me, and I read on.
The book starts out with a preface that I believe to be amazing. This is a text-book first written in 1908. I wish the text-books of today were written with the same intent and purpose. (For legal purposes the book is no longer under copyright law and may be found on google books for reading.) Here is the opening paragraph:
"Of the whole number of pupils who can study Civil Government with profit more than nine-tenths are in the upper classes of the grammar schools and in the lower classes of the high schools. In these classes there are nearly two million young people who can be led into a just appreciation of the rights and duties of citizens. Here is a rich field for the sower, an opportunity vast in its proportions for improving the quality of American citizenship and elevating the American electorate."
The most important part of this paragraph being the last statement: "an opportunity vast in its proportions for improving the quality of American citizenship and elevating the American electorate."
Now we water down the quality, disparage the rights of citizenship, and tear down the American electorate. All out of a "sense of fairness and equality and preservation."
The best part comes at the end of the second paragraph, however, which says: "The primary aim of the book is to establish political ideals and to indoctrinate in notions of civic morality." Civic morality? The book just gets better.
I do want to note that on some subjects it is outdated, such as a woman's right to vote, though it never suggests that it would be wrong, just states the facts. By S. E. Foreman, PhD, it is one of the best two dollars I've ever spent.
--MovingGirl
The book starts out with a preface that I believe to be amazing. This is a text-book first written in 1908. I wish the text-books of today were written with the same intent and purpose. (For legal purposes the book is no longer under copyright law and may be found on google books for reading.) Here is the opening paragraph:
"Of the whole number of pupils who can study Civil Government with profit more than nine-tenths are in the upper classes of the grammar schools and in the lower classes of the high schools. In these classes there are nearly two million young people who can be led into a just appreciation of the rights and duties of citizens. Here is a rich field for the sower, an opportunity vast in its proportions for improving the quality of American citizenship and elevating the American electorate."
The most important part of this paragraph being the last statement: "an opportunity vast in its proportions for improving the quality of American citizenship and elevating the American electorate."
Now we water down the quality, disparage the rights of citizenship, and tear down the American electorate. All out of a "sense of fairness and equality and preservation."
The best part comes at the end of the second paragraph, however, which says: "The primary aim of the book is to establish political ideals and to indoctrinate in notions of civic morality." Civic morality? The book just gets better.
I do want to note that on some subjects it is outdated, such as a woman's right to vote, though it never suggests that it would be wrong, just states the facts. By S. E. Foreman, PhD, it is one of the best two dollars I've ever spent.
--MovingGirl
Saturday, December 10, 2011
"I'm bringing you home"
He’s bringing us home. We are finally moving forward out of whatever time this has been. Since I’m still in it I can’t get the best perspective of what to call it. But we are coming to a time where our priorities are going to shift dramatically. Over and over and over I’ve been receiving confirmation that the end is near, and America especially is going to be sent into a tailspin. I’ve known that much for a long time, but now the mindset has locked in, and God is changing the way I view even the simple things. When I buy a bottled water at walmart when I’m working, I can’t help but think that I’ll look back someday at my simplicity in buying water with envy and awe. When I buy Christmas presents and little froufrou things for myself, the thought in my mind pops up this is worth four packages of good seeds. A dress that I want soo bad could buy me 60 gallons of water. The bedroom furniture I’ve looked at could buy a lifetime supply of tampons and pads. Necessities that we don’t think about needing, but will. Or that are an extremely nice convenience.
I want to start making a list of all the things that we should start thinking of gathering. Because we want enough supply to be able to share with people. Help those who hadn’t thought to prepare because they didn’t know or chose to ignore. I want to take disaster preparedness courses. I want to renew my CPR training. My mindset is changing. So is my worldview. And God told me through a mentor that we are NOT to fear what is coming, but to be excited. So I am. Nervous for sure, but not fearful, it is a nervous anticipation for the moves of God. And a steady prayer for repentance of his people and mercy for his people until those times come. Please. Consider storing up a six-month supply or more of necessities and food. You never know if you will need it, but being prepared is not being paranoid. It’s being obedient.
--MovingGirl
Thursday, November 10, 2011
It Really is Like Another Storm
Is it really warfare? Relax? Really? My heart is heavy with too many things...
I keep thinking...what's next? How long? Purpose?
Does anybody out there truly know what it is to move like we have for the reasons we have? I am so faithless that I need somebody to tell me how they did it. How they made it through and that it is going to be alright.
I pray each day before I go to walmart that God would allow me to be a blessing to someone, that he would be with me through my day, and that my armor would be on straight. Or on at all. Because the only way I make it through the day is with his help. Period. Working at walmart isn't hard. It is the working there with a joyful heart and a smile on my face. Somehow I do it every day with his help. But it is SO dificult for me, the spoiled brat. I come from a job where the hours and schedule were flexible, where I could talk directly to my boss and my schedule was planned out for a month in advance and I pretty much knew what it would be. Regular. Here at walmart I never know what shift it will be and they are different every day. After spending so much time with my family the past two months I miss them and truth be told HATE coming home at the end of the day late at night, 10, 11, or even 12am. My family is too tired to do anything together and so we all go to bed. I'm the only one with a job right now, and not for lack of trying on my dad's part. He works full time applying for places.
I feel like I'm missing my purpose, the reason I'm here. What am I supposed to be doing? Surely something? And yet when I feel the need to pray I don't even know what to pray for...its like there is so much that needs to happen here in Kentucky I don't know where to start. And the church here is SOOOO stuck on itself. There's a church on every corner and Everyone's a Christian for going to one. They all say yes, ma'am, and invite you to church while they are buying condoms for their extramarital sex. Yes, you see these things at wallys. (they call walmart that here...lol). Lot's of talk but nothing seems to happen. It's like people here just...settle. They don't go above and beyond or out of their way for Jesus. They do what is expected and normal and move on. Where do I find the followers my age? The ones who haven't been sold reformed theology and are calvanistic in thinking...the university is getting swept with reformed theology which totally denies the price of the cross. The young people here are either one or the other. Okay not really.
My feelings are crap, aren't they. Something's brewing. I knew it which is why had to write. Been to long...
Tomorrow is another long shift at work with a evening gone in my six-day work week. Thanksgiving is coming up. Saw Casting Crowns, The Afters, Sanctus Real...Mark H. talked about thanksgiving in storms (for their song) and I know it here in my head. I really really do. But it's still far from my heart.
But here goes anyway.
Jesus, thank you for my health, and my car. Thank you for the income I receive from this job and for the chance to be at the concert. You could have had me work late. Thank you also for the fact that my family and I all have food to eat and a place to live. We are sooo rich compared to others. Thank you for allowing me the outlet of writing. And for our laptops and mifi. It would be impossible without them. And thank you for my bed, to which I'm heading now. Please give me a good night sleep so I can be energized tomorrow. I love you, I really, really, do.
Train me well in your deep wisdom,
I just want to be with You.
--MovingGirl
I keep thinking...what's next? How long? Purpose?
Does anybody out there truly know what it is to move like we have for the reasons we have? I am so faithless that I need somebody to tell me how they did it. How they made it through and that it is going to be alright.
I pray each day before I go to walmart that God would allow me to be a blessing to someone, that he would be with me through my day, and that my armor would be on straight. Or on at all. Because the only way I make it through the day is with his help. Period. Working at walmart isn't hard. It is the working there with a joyful heart and a smile on my face. Somehow I do it every day with his help. But it is SO dificult for me, the spoiled brat. I come from a job where the hours and schedule were flexible, where I could talk directly to my boss and my schedule was planned out for a month in advance and I pretty much knew what it would be. Regular. Here at walmart I never know what shift it will be and they are different every day. After spending so much time with my family the past two months I miss them and truth be told HATE coming home at the end of the day late at night, 10, 11, or even 12am. My family is too tired to do anything together and so we all go to bed. I'm the only one with a job right now, and not for lack of trying on my dad's part. He works full time applying for places.
I feel like I'm missing my purpose, the reason I'm here. What am I supposed to be doing? Surely something? And yet when I feel the need to pray I don't even know what to pray for...its like there is so much that needs to happen here in Kentucky I don't know where to start. And the church here is SOOOO stuck on itself. There's a church on every corner and Everyone's a Christian for going to one. They all say yes, ma'am, and invite you to church while they are buying condoms for their extramarital sex. Yes, you see these things at wallys. (they call walmart that here...lol). Lot's of talk but nothing seems to happen. It's like people here just...settle. They don't go above and beyond or out of their way for Jesus. They do what is expected and normal and move on. Where do I find the followers my age? The ones who haven't been sold reformed theology and are calvanistic in thinking...the university is getting swept with reformed theology which totally denies the price of the cross. The young people here are either one or the other. Okay not really.
My feelings are crap, aren't they. Something's brewing. I knew it which is why had to write. Been to long...
Tomorrow is another long shift at work with a evening gone in my six-day work week. Thanksgiving is coming up. Saw Casting Crowns, The Afters, Sanctus Real...Mark H. talked about thanksgiving in storms (for their song) and I know it here in my head. I really really do. But it's still far from my heart.
But here goes anyway.
Jesus, thank you for my health, and my car. Thank you for the income I receive from this job and for the chance to be at the concert. You could have had me work late. Thank you also for the fact that my family and I all have food to eat and a place to live. We are sooo rich compared to others. Thank you for allowing me the outlet of writing. And for our laptops and mifi. It would be impossible without them. And thank you for my bed, to which I'm heading now. Please give me a good night sleep so I can be energized tomorrow. I love you, I really, really, do.
Train me well in your deep wisdom,
I just want to be with You.
--MovingGirl
Monday, September 26, 2011
Take Pride, Remain Humble
My sister was describing what God was teaching her a couple weeks ago with this phrase: "to take pride in my low positions, and to be humble in my high positions."
Telling people that we are living in an RV park is certainly a change. Telling people that we are looking for jobs and living in an RV park is even better. Telling people that we are following the will of God and moved from ALASKA to here Kentucky and need jobs while living in an RV park is incredibly interesting. They all say, "Bless your heart."
It's not a hard life, though. And it's not bad either. We have all decided that we like this better than renting until we get jobs and a home. We sometimes don't even wear makeup out and about. There is no need to. Imagine that.
And we get to make friends and reach our neighbors here where we couldn't if we lived in a house. My dad is mentoring the park boys, and my family has gotten to bless our neighbors with food.
My dad killed something in his truck helping a buddy he just met at the nursery across the street move an ancient rv to the park so he could have an affordable place to live. It will cost us a bit of money but my dad did it gladly.
I just got a call from Walmart for an interview tomorrow. Truly, I never thought I would be working at Walmart. Granted, Walmart here is not like ones on the west coast, it is the nicer grocery and retail store around, one of the only ones. I never realized how much we had it good up there in Alaska. A great home, great neighbors, nice neighborhood, location, friends, church, jobs...
Now we have the friends, but nothing else yet. At least I have a car.
And the funny thing is that we chose this. God works mysteriously.
During this whole trip I've had to learn how to do things I've never done before. Like how to have quiet alone time with God in the midst of people. How to find a place to worship him when my family is around. Getting used to very limited privacy. Very limited personal space.
We are learning how to share our shower stalls and toilet stalls with all manner of creatures. I've showered while watching a giant spider devour a giant moth. Four inches from my face. We are learning how to seek God at the beginning of every day, because if we don't, things don't go too well for us. We are learning patience...people here just don't move fast.
We have yet to find a church. We've gone once since we left Alaska.
There's so much more. And God has been so faithful in taking care of us. We can only trust Him to continue.
Please think about your blessings today, like clean running water.
--MovingGirl
Telling people that we are living in an RV park is certainly a change. Telling people that we are looking for jobs and living in an RV park is even better. Telling people that we are following the will of God and moved from ALASKA to here Kentucky and need jobs while living in an RV park is incredibly interesting. They all say, "Bless your heart."
It's not a hard life, though. And it's not bad either. We have all decided that we like this better than renting until we get jobs and a home. We sometimes don't even wear makeup out and about. There is no need to. Imagine that.
And we get to make friends and reach our neighbors here where we couldn't if we lived in a house. My dad is mentoring the park boys, and my family has gotten to bless our neighbors with food.
My dad killed something in his truck helping a buddy he just met at the nursery across the street move an ancient rv to the park so he could have an affordable place to live. It will cost us a bit of money but my dad did it gladly.
I just got a call from Walmart for an interview tomorrow. Truly, I never thought I would be working at Walmart. Granted, Walmart here is not like ones on the west coast, it is the nicer grocery and retail store around, one of the only ones. I never realized how much we had it good up there in Alaska. A great home, great neighbors, nice neighborhood, location, friends, church, jobs...
Now we have the friends, but nothing else yet. At least I have a car.
And the funny thing is that we chose this. God works mysteriously.
During this whole trip I've had to learn how to do things I've never done before. Like how to have quiet alone time with God in the midst of people. How to find a place to worship him when my family is around. Getting used to very limited privacy. Very limited personal space.
We are learning how to share our shower stalls and toilet stalls with all manner of creatures. I've showered while watching a giant spider devour a giant moth. Four inches from my face. We are learning how to seek God at the beginning of every day, because if we don't, things don't go too well for us. We are learning patience...people here just don't move fast.
We have yet to find a church. We've gone once since we left Alaska.
There's so much more. And God has been so faithful in taking care of us. We can only trust Him to continue.
Please think about your blessings today, like clean running water.
--MovingGirl
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
To Speak with God
My uncle was talking to me the other day about prophesying to the spirit. Totally freed me by reminding me that prophesying doesn't have to take place in a corporate setting, but that some of the most powerful, most sweet moments with God and with prophesying come when you are separate from the world. Not of the world, but in it. He talked about times when he first came to the Lord when he would go out on a hill and prophesy to the church, or to the spirit. Alone and out loud, with God and the spiritual realm as witness. It was so liberating. So freeing to be reminded about something that I knew in my heart but that my head had gotten in the way about. He addressed my fears of being wrong and how that was keeping me from using my gifts. Told me that sometimes, even if you make a mistake, it is okay. That using the gifts correctly, like any other thing, takes PRACTICE. And mistakes do come. I wish there was more teaching on this in the church.
We talked about how prophets in the old testament weren't taken out and stoned for being mistaken in there words, or for getting one wrong. They were taken out and stoned for being false prophets by giving words that intentionally led people to serve other gods. He gave as an example, the prophet who spoke incorrectly to David out of his good feeling for him regarding the building of the Temple. There is no scripture that speaks of punishment for this incorrect word but rather that God corrected it.
Why do I learn this from my uncle? Where are the churches and teachers and pastors to teach this? Must we all venture to the streets and the homes to find the scripture teachings about these things? Is the Holy Spirit to be our only source for confirmation and clarification? Not that He is inefficient, but what about the fellowship around these truths?
I can't wait for the day when these things will be taught from the pulpit without animosity, without guile, without personal opinion, and without scorn.
Us young people are hungry and we know there is more, and the stretch is coming between honoring your father and mother in the faith and rebelling against religion. It is not easy for us to find the Godly balance. It is not easy at all.
--MovingGirl
We talked about how prophets in the old testament weren't taken out and stoned for being mistaken in there words, or for getting one wrong. They were taken out and stoned for being false prophets by giving words that intentionally led people to serve other gods. He gave as an example, the prophet who spoke incorrectly to David out of his good feeling for him regarding the building of the Temple. There is no scripture that speaks of punishment for this incorrect word but rather that God corrected it.
Why do I learn this from my uncle? Where are the churches and teachers and pastors to teach this? Must we all venture to the streets and the homes to find the scripture teachings about these things? Is the Holy Spirit to be our only source for confirmation and clarification? Not that He is inefficient, but what about the fellowship around these truths?
I can't wait for the day when these things will be taught from the pulpit without animosity, without guile, without personal opinion, and without scorn.
Us young people are hungry and we know there is more, and the stretch is coming between honoring your father and mother in the faith and rebelling against religion. It is not easy for us to find the Godly balance. It is not easy at all.
--MovingGirl
Does Not Come Free
Let us remember
That freedom
Does not come
Free.
Peace is established
Through conflict
Anyone who says
Otherwise
Has forgotten
They say
We Fight
For freedom
Not for war.
It all comes
To the definition
Of freedom
So what do we
Peace for?
Is complacency
Is compromise
Is peace worth
Being enslaved
To Apathy?
If we fight
For freedom
And long
For peace
Wouldn't one
Have to be
Connected
To the other?
Peace,
Is calm in conflict.
Can we really have one without the other?
2000 years
Have passed
Since one walked
Who brought
Both war
And peace
Freedom
And grace.
He did not conquer
With his armies
He did not protest
With his signs
Instead he died
And started a rebellion
A merciful crusade
Against normalcy
Against complacency
Against compromise
And apathy.
He started a revolution
Inside the hearts
Of the people
A revolution
That continues to hold strong
To this very day.
Love.
It says no to impatience
It says no to unkindness
It says no to depression,
Fear
Apathy.
How?
Because he died
To start this conflict.
That brings freedom
To the human soul.
A sacrifice, to save others
Just as our wars do today.
Is there peace without war?
Is there war without peace?
A bloody death
Civilian casualty
Torture
And mutilation
Mockery
Politics
Subterfuge
Washing
Of hands
Secrets
And thirty-three years
To bring about
The most
Extravagant
Elaborate
Complex
Plan
In progress
Since the beginning
Of creation
Jesus died.
Let us remember
That freedom
Does not come
Free.
Written in Utah on the best night of the entire trip. It hasn't been edited yet. Too many capitals and other things...but it is harder to edit on the iPad than on the laptop. Will do so later.
--MovingGirl
That freedom
Does not come
Free.
Peace is established
Through conflict
Anyone who says
Otherwise
Has forgotten
They say
We Fight
For freedom
Not for war.
It all comes
To the definition
Of freedom
So what do we
Peace for?
Is complacency
Is compromise
Is peace worth
Being enslaved
To Apathy?
If we fight
For freedom
And long
For peace
Wouldn't one
Have to be
Connected
To the other?
Peace,
Is calm in conflict.
Can we really have one without the other?
2000 years
Have passed
Since one walked
Who brought
Both war
And peace
Freedom
And grace.
He did not conquer
With his armies
He did not protest
With his signs
Instead he died
And started a rebellion
A merciful crusade
Against normalcy
Against complacency
Against compromise
And apathy.
He started a revolution
Inside the hearts
Of the people
A revolution
That continues to hold strong
To this very day.
Love.
It says no to impatience
It says no to unkindness
It says no to depression,
Fear
Apathy.
How?
Because he died
To start this conflict.
That brings freedom
To the human soul.
A sacrifice, to save others
Just as our wars do today.
Is there peace without war?
Is there war without peace?
A bloody death
Civilian casualty
Torture
And mutilation
Mockery
Politics
Subterfuge
Washing
Of hands
Secrets
And thirty-three years
To bring about
The most
Extravagant
Elaborate
Complex
Plan
In progress
Since the beginning
Of creation
Jesus died.
Let us remember
That freedom
Does not come
Free.
Written in Utah on the best night of the entire trip. It hasn't been edited yet. Too many capitals and other things...but it is harder to edit on the iPad than on the laptop. Will do so later.
--MovingGirl
Poor, long-neglected, blog
I kind of feel sorry for my blog. Lack of will, not lack of time has kept me away. There has just been so much going on with this moving process that it seemed like it would be a huge project to get it up to speed. But then I realized I don't have to do that. I've never really done that before.
So here goes not catching up on everything.
I am in Murray, Kentucky as of a couple weeks ago. This is a college town, home to the very first college I actually considered going to when in Alaska and doing research. They are diverse and that is what sells me. Coming from Alaska where we had two white neighbor families and the rest were all of different nationalities, it's hard down here where everything is so...divided still. It's hard for me to think that it has only been a generation since the freedom riders and other who began the fight for equality. It saddens my heart. So that is one of the major draws to Murray State. The diversity.
We are in the process of searching for jobs. I spent the last two days perfecting my dad's resume for him. He gave me the information and I gave him a resume. I know that God helped me along the way. I have writing and editing skills, but they are God-given.
I just got started on my own last night.
There have been many difficulties with where we are at, but the coolest thing has been to see all the family. It is why we moved to this side of the U.S. and it has been phenomenal. For myself and my siblings, who have never been around family, it has been very meaningful to see the blood relations and to know where our roots come from. We met my grandma Mary, a physical grandparent and spiritual. I believe it was her prayers that brought my mom, aunt, and uncle to the Lord. It was an honor to meet her.
I have to go, I'm driving up to Paducah today to get my title for my car. The new car is great and such a God-blessing. I named her Devir. It's Hebrew.
--MovingGirl
So here goes not catching up on everything.
I am in Murray, Kentucky as of a couple weeks ago. This is a college town, home to the very first college I actually considered going to when in Alaska and doing research. They are diverse and that is what sells me. Coming from Alaska where we had two white neighbor families and the rest were all of different nationalities, it's hard down here where everything is so...divided still. It's hard for me to think that it has only been a generation since the freedom riders and other who began the fight for equality. It saddens my heart. So that is one of the major draws to Murray State. The diversity.
We are in the process of searching for jobs. I spent the last two days perfecting my dad's resume for him. He gave me the information and I gave him a resume. I know that God helped me along the way. I have writing and editing skills, but they are God-given.
I just got started on my own last night.
There have been many difficulties with where we are at, but the coolest thing has been to see all the family. It is why we moved to this side of the U.S. and it has been phenomenal. For myself and my siblings, who have never been around family, it has been very meaningful to see the blood relations and to know where our roots come from. We met my grandma Mary, a physical grandparent and spiritual. I believe it was her prayers that brought my mom, aunt, and uncle to the Lord. It was an honor to meet her.
I have to go, I'm driving up to Paducah today to get my title for my car. The new car is great and such a God-blessing. I named her Devir. It's Hebrew.
--MovingGirl
Monday, August 15, 2011
I'm catching up
Or it's evening and I'm just in a writing mood. Either way, I was just thinking about books and how much a good book is worth. You know the saying that a picture is worth a thousand words? I like to say the opposite about a good book, which is really just saying something about the author. A good author, or writer, can make a single word worth a thousand pictures. That is what writing is about. It's the other side of photography, I think. Because they both seem to create images, just using different methods. When I write poetry, that is what I try to do, create images, thoughts, ideas...mind-pictures.
--MovingGirl
--MovingGirl
Mis-spellings
They are all on account of my laziness and unwillingness to go back and fix them...I'm typing on the iPad and haven't got an external keyboard yet, so it takes too long to fix things. My pride wouldn't let me go without giving an explanation. ;)
Back
So I fianlly post again now that I am in Nevada. We made it all the way down here. We are all stressed out and tired all the time. It's like we can't really relax. Driving with the trailer is extremely stressful and we have been avoiding all the cities because of it. Which means break stops are limited. It has been interesting, God has been so amazingly good to us this whole trip. One example was when we were driving through Canada, and we were headed down to Williams lake, and about 30 minutes out of whatever town we had just passed through (everything has become quite a blur) we came across a horrible accident that had stopped traffic for three hours Already. Apparently some idiot had been driving and tried to pass an ambulance on it's way to the hospital, and clipped it, sending the ambulance off the road into a telephone pole, causing a gas explosion of some sort at the same time. So God provided us with a trucker who got out of his truck and came up to ours, and told us this other way to get to where we were going with only a forty minute difference. We all had Gods amazing peace that whole detour trip to the town of McBride, while driving, it got dark and my mom and I were praying that God would keep the deer off the road. I got this picture of angels lining the road in front onus, completely clearing the path for us. We encountered no trouble.
While driving through some park in Cali, it got dark again too, but I felt completely uncomfortable, and exposed, and tense. I prayed for the same protection and peace and the image I got was different then mcbride. Instead of lining the road, the angels were surrounding our vehicles and instead of a cleared path, we were like armored trucks pushing through enemy territory.
It was interesting. And cool.
We are now in Ely and we had a stressful day and time setting up. One of our stabilizers for the trailer broke. We could use prayer for that and wisdom.
Miss all my Alaska friends, and look forward to meeting all the new ones!
--MovingGirl
While driving through some park in Cali, it got dark again too, but I felt completely uncomfortable, and exposed, and tense. I prayed for the same protection and peace and the image I got was different then mcbride. Instead of lining the road, the angels were surrounding our vehicles and instead of a cleared path, we were like armored trucks pushing through enemy territory.
It was interesting. And cool.
We are now in Ely and we had a stressful day and time setting up. One of our stabilizers for the trailer broke. We could use prayer for that and wisdom.
Miss all my Alaska friends, and look forward to meeting all the new ones!
--MovingGirl
Friday, July 22, 2011
Last day
This is our last day here at our house. Had my last shower here...it's interesting what you start thinking about. And there is a lot of stuff here at our house still. I don't know where we are going to put it all. We mint have to ship some stuff down to Seattle to wait for us and the camper. I don't know what else we'll do...
I'll miss it but I a. So ready to go.
--MovingGirl
I'll miss it but I a. So ready to go.
--MovingGirl
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Goodness/Glory
God is amazing. Just thought I'd say that. Lately there have been heavy things weighing on my spirit and while they a good and in the right time, I miss the easiness of happiness. So here it goes. I'm glad that we have a God who keeps his promises, who is the same yesterday today and forever. Finding out more about him doesn't mean he's changed, it just means I'm discovering more of his character. He is a big God. I'm beginning to understand just how much I do not understand about him. But I do know this: he loves me. And I thank you, Father, for sending us your Son.
Love you Abba!
--MovingGirl
Love you Abba!
--MovingGirl
Saying Goodbye
Already, I'm preparing myself for the goodbyes. Yesterday was the first. Said goodbye to a work-buddy of the past two years and was surprised by it. For some reason I hadn't processed the fact that it was our last day working together. Goodbye was awkward because I hadn't even thought about it.
Today is my last day of work. On call if needed after this...but.
Now I have to get everything ready. Have to get my car ready to sell. Have to pack up everything that we're taking. Find a way to get rid of the rest.
I am having a hard time deciding what I want to take with me, and what I can leave packed for the trip...the books, though, I don't have any clue as to what to take and what to ship. Shipped books won't be seen again until we get a place to live. So I have to decide carefully. I'm going to ask God for wisdom.
Today is my last day of work. On call if needed after this...but.
Now I have to get everything ready. Have to get my car ready to sell. Have to pack up everything that we're taking. Find a way to get rid of the rest.
I am having a hard time deciding what I want to take with me, and what I can leave packed for the trip...the books, though, I don't have any clue as to what to take and what to ship. Shipped books won't be seen again until we get a place to live. So I have to decide carefully. I'm going to ask God for wisdom.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
To Live Life to the Fullest
Only a step away from the great unknown
how fragile and simple are our bodies.
Our body and our soul and our spirit
a trinity.
Do we ever think beyond terms
of physical, of science, of modern
theology and philosophy?
Even our great theological
arguments
are based entirely on a
plane of existence
that we think of as merely
imaginative.
What is it that we exist in?
God is the Lamb
the sacrifice for our sins
he died
and rose again
and is today
with us.
He won.
God is the Lion
the Just King
whose scepter is righteousness
and whose eyes are fire
whose face cannot be seen
for its glory
that is like
a sunrise.
The body can be tortured.
Destroyed.
But the soul
is what counts.
Where will your soul go?
To the pit of fire
or the glorious throne room?
The Gospel is Jesus Christ.
We share Jesus with each other.
But what are we willing to take?
Torture
ridicule
abandonment
loss
pain...
for Him?
It is easy to share him with others.
It's receiving the cross daily
that means death
to self
and it is not easy.
Am I willing to accept
the cross?
That work of Jesus in my life
to cleanse
purify
and own
my life?
What am I willing to give
for Him?
Works do not earn us his love
and how grateful I am.
But what is my love worth?
The words of my mouth
or the deeds of my heart?
I want to surrender
to my Jesus
fully
wholly.
Maybe that is why
we all find
something else to serve.
Because we are not
serving our Lord and Master
so our hearts long for that
unity and devotion
to someone
who will love
and take care of us.
Jesus Christ.
It is easy to say
that one could lay down
their life.
But it is harder to say
that you could
accept the loss
of the lives
of the ones you love
after surrendering them
to God.
It's a war.
And war is deadly.
God is good,
and the weapons of our warfare
are not carnal in nature
so we fight with Wisdom
of God and His strength
because we would
fail otherwise.
This war is deadly
and it is real.
To be warrior means
Nehemiah and the wall
working with a tool in one hand
and holding a weapon
in the other
always ready to fight
amidst the daily toil
of building.
Being a watchman by night
or by day
never letting down your guard
sleeping in your armour
and working in unity
with the brothers and sisters.
It means sometimes
sacrificing sleep
and accepting God's rest.
It means sometimes
standing in the gap
for others
and loving them
as yourself.
A complete laying down
of Will
and letting God
be totally
Lord and Master
over one's life.
Can I surrender
my all to Him
letting God
direct my life
not an actor
but a warrior
a participator
in all of God's
goodness
and love
in the midst
of a world
not my own?
--MovingGirl
how fragile and simple are our bodies.
Our body and our soul and our spirit
a trinity.
Do we ever think beyond terms
of physical, of science, of modern
theology and philosophy?
Even our great theological
arguments
are based entirely on a
plane of existence
that we think of as merely
imaginative.
What is it that we exist in?
God is the Lamb
the sacrifice for our sins
he died
and rose again
and is today
with us.
He won.
God is the Lion
the Just King
whose scepter is righteousness
and whose eyes are fire
whose face cannot be seen
for its glory
that is like
a sunrise.
The body can be tortured.
Destroyed.
But the soul
is what counts.
Where will your soul go?
To the pit of fire
or the glorious throne room?
The Gospel is Jesus Christ.
We share Jesus with each other.
But what are we willing to take?
Torture
ridicule
abandonment
loss
pain...
for Him?
It is easy to share him with others.
It's receiving the cross daily
that means death
to self
and it is not easy.
Am I willing to accept
the cross?
That work of Jesus in my life
to cleanse
purify
and own
my life?
What am I willing to give
for Him?
Works do not earn us his love
and how grateful I am.
But what is my love worth?
The words of my mouth
or the deeds of my heart?
I want to surrender
to my Jesus
fully
wholly.
Maybe that is why
we all find
something else to serve.
Because we are not
serving our Lord and Master
so our hearts long for that
unity and devotion
to someone
who will love
and take care of us.
Jesus Christ.
It is easy to say
that one could lay down
their life.
But it is harder to say
that you could
accept the loss
of the lives
of the ones you love
after surrendering them
to God.
It's a war.
And war is deadly.
God is good,
and the weapons of our warfare
are not carnal in nature
so we fight with Wisdom
of God and His strength
because we would
fail otherwise.
This war is deadly
and it is real.
To be warrior means
Nehemiah and the wall
working with a tool in one hand
and holding a weapon
in the other
always ready to fight
amidst the daily toil
of building.
Being a watchman by night
or by day
never letting down your guard
sleeping in your armour
and working in unity
with the brothers and sisters.
It means sometimes
sacrificing sleep
and accepting God's rest.
It means sometimes
standing in the gap
for others
and loving them
as yourself.
A complete laying down
of Will
and letting God
be totally
Lord and Master
over one's life.
Can I surrender
my all to Him
letting God
direct my life
not an actor
but a warrior
a participator
in all of God's
goodness
and love
in the midst
of a world
not my own?
--MovingGirl
Commitment
What are we doing?
What is our goal here on earth?
Are we driven by a purpose?
Are our hearts totally on fire for our Master and Lord Jesus Christ?
Are we committed to the point where nothing else matters but God?
I've been challenged. And I'm scared of myself because I know I can't trust myself.
So I purely have to trust the Lord. To teach me, to guide me, to protect me as he will, to be the loving Father, to be the Just King...
I have to start putting on my armour every day. To start memorizing scripture and getting it in my heart. I may never have the experiences with the darkness that I've read about, but in my day to day activities they are needed as well. I can't trust myself to be intelligent enough. So I rely upon God for my wisdom and his humbling. Because pride is something I struggle with.
Other people have doubts about whether or not I could ever be that committed to God. I do too. But the truth is I could never do anything without God's strength and his help. If he ever asks something like this from me, I know that he would give me what I needed to do it. Through the power of Jesus Christ.
Balance is a fear too, and it makes me so much more reliant on God for almost every thing. It's a hard position to be in.
But I do want to be committed to God. Fully, wholly, His.
--MovingGirl
What is our goal here on earth?
Are we driven by a purpose?
Are our hearts totally on fire for our Master and Lord Jesus Christ?
Are we committed to the point where nothing else matters but God?
I've been challenged. And I'm scared of myself because I know I can't trust myself.
So I purely have to trust the Lord. To teach me, to guide me, to protect me as he will, to be the loving Father, to be the Just King...
I have to start putting on my armour every day. To start memorizing scripture and getting it in my heart. I may never have the experiences with the darkness that I've read about, but in my day to day activities they are needed as well. I can't trust myself to be intelligent enough. So I rely upon God for my wisdom and his humbling. Because pride is something I struggle with.
Other people have doubts about whether or not I could ever be that committed to God. I do too. But the truth is I could never do anything without God's strength and his help. If he ever asks something like this from me, I know that he would give me what I needed to do it. Through the power of Jesus Christ.
Balance is a fear too, and it makes me so much more reliant on God for almost every thing. It's a hard position to be in.
But I do want to be committed to God. Fully, wholly, His.
--MovingGirl
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Saved
Read a book las night that I have a feeling will change my life, but as it is so intense, I'm not actually going to post the title here. I pray that if there is a need for one to read it that God would bring it to them in His timing. I needed to read it.
And spent all night going from the Bible, to prayer, to worship, to the book, to shivering, to gagging, and back to the Bible. I was up till 5am and had a hard time falling asleep. Didn't finish it in one night, still reading it.
The cover picture grabbed me. You know, I think every good, intensely helpful and/or insightful book I've read has been from the 70's or 80's with home-made style artwork covers. Aka corny looking. But I really could say that they are the good ones.
Not really sure what to say about the book. All I know is the change that is taking place inside of me. God is working to make something out of me, what I know not. But I do know that there is an awareness that comes. An eye-opening. Certain books do that. They shock you awake. Ones that have done this before for me were Katherine Baxter's Divine Revelation of Hell, and Rick Joyner's Final Quest and The Call. I believe in reading through books like that with the Holy Spirit and a Bible. Don't take everything as it is, but test it against the scripture, ask God to reveal these things to you.
It's strange. Life. The physical and spiritual...God is amazing, though. I'm so happy with Him.
May God bless the readers with the truth and the knowledge they need to walk with Him. I know I can only be there with his strength.
--MovingGirl
And spent all night going from the Bible, to prayer, to worship, to the book, to shivering, to gagging, and back to the Bible. I was up till 5am and had a hard time falling asleep. Didn't finish it in one night, still reading it.
The cover picture grabbed me. You know, I think every good, intensely helpful and/or insightful book I've read has been from the 70's or 80's with home-made style artwork covers. Aka corny looking. But I really could say that they are the good ones.
Not really sure what to say about the book. All I know is the change that is taking place inside of me. God is working to make something out of me, what I know not. But I do know that there is an awareness that comes. An eye-opening. Certain books do that. They shock you awake. Ones that have done this before for me were Katherine Baxter's Divine Revelation of Hell, and Rick Joyner's Final Quest and The Call. I believe in reading through books like that with the Holy Spirit and a Bible. Don't take everything as it is, but test it against the scripture, ask God to reveal these things to you.
It's strange. Life. The physical and spiritual...God is amazing, though. I'm so happy with Him.
May God bless the readers with the truth and the knowledge they need to walk with Him. I know I can only be there with his strength.
--MovingGirl
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Magnify
I wonder why I write this...
Haven't typed in a while because I've been in a place where I act fine but I'm not. I have major problems, and sometimes those problems sneak up and bite me and I am lying wounded, and lost for days.
This is what it looks like:
I'm walking the path with Jesus, and it's good, but tough. I look over and see another path running parellel to the one I'm on, I wave at Jesus and jump over to the other one, completely defiant, thinking I'm going to try this one for a while, even knowing it's wrong. I smile back at Jesus, and keep walking, but soon, before I know it, my steps are coming slower and slower, and my smile turns. I look down at my feet to see me trudging through mud and Jesus on the other path suddenly seems so far away. Then suddenly I can move no more and I just start sinking. I keep sinking because I'm struggling to get out (like quicksand) on my own, and the more I do so the more I fall. It never occurs to me to call out for help because I got myself into this mess. Then I'm under...lost, in a dark, cold pit where I can't breathe, can't see. Can't even cry out for help.
And in reality I can't look at my eyes any more because they scare me.
So I'm drowning in a pit of my own making, and I usually sit there for several days. Until something wakes me up to the fact that there is an arm in front of me that has been there all along...God just waiting for me to acknowledge him. He pulls me out, and then begins our journey back to the path I'm supposed to be on.
It scares me sometimes, how easy it is to fall back. How simple it is to ignore the chains slowly growing stronger, binding you to what God has already set you free from. I don't want to be in bondage to the dark anymore. I let it have three years of my life, I'm only a year free.
I've realized, now, that sometimes I can recognize it. The darkness in other people. I can see the bondage at times. Know what it is and understand where they are at. I don't know what to think of this new-found realization. Or what to do with it. I can pray for the people, I suppose.
God is really, really good. And it just seems to magnify my badness at times. Thankfully he loves me in spite of it all.
I'm visionary as much as I am visual. I thrive with changes, and work well with objectives. I'm interactive and a people person, but at the same time need my alone time. This move seems to be tearing me apart. I'm just hoping it's God's hands doing the pulling, and that it will be God's hands that put me back together again.
--MovingGirl
Haven't typed in a while because I've been in a place where I act fine but I'm not. I have major problems, and sometimes those problems sneak up and bite me and I am lying wounded, and lost for days.
This is what it looks like:
I'm walking the path with Jesus, and it's good, but tough. I look over and see another path running parellel to the one I'm on, I wave at Jesus and jump over to the other one, completely defiant, thinking I'm going to try this one for a while, even knowing it's wrong. I smile back at Jesus, and keep walking, but soon, before I know it, my steps are coming slower and slower, and my smile turns. I look down at my feet to see me trudging through mud and Jesus on the other path suddenly seems so far away. Then suddenly I can move no more and I just start sinking. I keep sinking because I'm struggling to get out (like quicksand) on my own, and the more I do so the more I fall. It never occurs to me to call out for help because I got myself into this mess. Then I'm under...lost, in a dark, cold pit where I can't breathe, can't see. Can't even cry out for help.
And in reality I can't look at my eyes any more because they scare me.
So I'm drowning in a pit of my own making, and I usually sit there for several days. Until something wakes me up to the fact that there is an arm in front of me that has been there all along...God just waiting for me to acknowledge him. He pulls me out, and then begins our journey back to the path I'm supposed to be on.
It scares me sometimes, how easy it is to fall back. How simple it is to ignore the chains slowly growing stronger, binding you to what God has already set you free from. I don't want to be in bondage to the dark anymore. I let it have three years of my life, I'm only a year free.
I've realized, now, that sometimes I can recognize it. The darkness in other people. I can see the bondage at times. Know what it is and understand where they are at. I don't know what to think of this new-found realization. Or what to do with it. I can pray for the people, I suppose.
God is really, really good. And it just seems to magnify my badness at times. Thankfully he loves me in spite of it all.
I'm visionary as much as I am visual. I thrive with changes, and work well with objectives. I'm interactive and a people person, but at the same time need my alone time. This move seems to be tearing me apart. I'm just hoping it's God's hands doing the pulling, and that it will be God's hands that put me back together again.
--MovingGirl
Friday, July 1, 2011
For Real
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
"The weapons of our warfare are not carnal in nature, but useful for the tearing down of strongholds..."
"...The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
When we whisper desperate prayers in hospital rooms. When we silently cry out to God at the news of a loved one's death. When we scream in the night for help because of fears that threaten to overtake us...who are we calling for? What are we praying against? Air?
Do we as Christians, believe in the unseen, or has it become simply a metaphorical battle in which good will triumph over evil in the end, but it will all be unseen, unheard, not felt?
How much have we been deceived into thinking that the atoms and molecules we sit on, drive, and eat are more real than the spiritual realm?
Who are we fighting against if not flesh and blood? Do we forget that?
I don't know how many of us have had the 'privilege' of experiencing the supernatural or the spiritual world up close. I think as children we are closer to it because of our innocence. Things such as angels, mermaids, and princes/princesses are easy to believe at a young age. God as well. And so I think that perhaps a lot of our younger experiences that we chalk up to little kids imaginations are truly more real than our 'reality'. I know why I was scared of the dark. Darkness itself can manifest in a room and sit in a corner. Just as God can surround me in a golden cloud of his warmth and love.
Imaginary friends may not be so imaginary once you start to get the child talking about them.
I am beginning to wonder how much of my life I'm missing because I walk in the physical world too much. There is a balance, yes. You can overboard either way, yes. But if we are truly walking with God in his light and presence, how much more will we 'see'?
I think we have relegated the spiritual world to bible lessons and over-amped Pentecostals. But there is a balance, right? So maybe we're both a little off.
Too many people hold those experiences inside for fear of being labeled whatever label is popular at the moment. I know this only because once sharing my own experiences, they seem to bubble up out of others who are so relieved to find someone else who understands. Relieved. Which is part of the reason FirePlace was started. So that we could all discuss these things that are frowned upon in some churches, or intimidating in others.
What does my prayer look like in the spiritual realm? What does my sin cause and effect?
I think in images. So to me this is what I think of when I pray sometimes, or when I am tempted, or sin. What is going on in the spiritual realm at that moment of temptation? What about when I'm attacked?
It's real...
--MovingGirl
"The weapons of our warfare are not carnal in nature, but useful for the tearing down of strongholds..."
"...The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
When we whisper desperate prayers in hospital rooms. When we silently cry out to God at the news of a loved one's death. When we scream in the night for help because of fears that threaten to overtake us...who are we calling for? What are we praying against? Air?
Do we as Christians, believe in the unseen, or has it become simply a metaphorical battle in which good will triumph over evil in the end, but it will all be unseen, unheard, not felt?
How much have we been deceived into thinking that the atoms and molecules we sit on, drive, and eat are more real than the spiritual realm?
Who are we fighting against if not flesh and blood? Do we forget that?
I don't know how many of us have had the 'privilege' of experiencing the supernatural or the spiritual world up close. I think as children we are closer to it because of our innocence. Things such as angels, mermaids, and princes/princesses are easy to believe at a young age. God as well. And so I think that perhaps a lot of our younger experiences that we chalk up to little kids imaginations are truly more real than our 'reality'. I know why I was scared of the dark. Darkness itself can manifest in a room and sit in a corner. Just as God can surround me in a golden cloud of his warmth and love.
Imaginary friends may not be so imaginary once you start to get the child talking about them.
I am beginning to wonder how much of my life I'm missing because I walk in the physical world too much. There is a balance, yes. You can overboard either way, yes. But if we are truly walking with God in his light and presence, how much more will we 'see'?
I think we have relegated the spiritual world to bible lessons and over-amped Pentecostals. But there is a balance, right? So maybe we're both a little off.
Too many people hold those experiences inside for fear of being labeled whatever label is popular at the moment. I know this only because once sharing my own experiences, they seem to bubble up out of others who are so relieved to find someone else who understands. Relieved. Which is part of the reason FirePlace was started. So that we could all discuss these things that are frowned upon in some churches, or intimidating in others.
What does my prayer look like in the spiritual realm? What does my sin cause and effect?
I think in images. So to me this is what I think of when I pray sometimes, or when I am tempted, or sin. What is going on in the spiritual realm at that moment of temptation? What about when I'm attacked?
It's real...
--MovingGirl
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
To Keep
Japan, Japan, Japan...even the english version of the name is beautiful to me.
I keep thinking that the country was only ever a military 'hop' away. Catch a flight with my daddy, be there a couple days and be back. Totally possible.
I've wanted to go so bad. And now an opportunity has arisen. Exactly the type of opportunity my heart has desired, too. To go with a TEAM of people. Not a school, not an "organization." I've wanted to go with a team whose hearts are all for Japan...long term, not short term. Not even for a few years to fulfill whatever missions quota they have. With a team that has a heart for the people, the culture, the land, etc.
And all about prayer and worship. God-oriented.
So now I wait on God for his word. Yes, no, wait...I'll be content with whatever it is because I have peace knowing that even if this isn't it, I will be there some day. And some day is okay with me. But also ready to go if he says yes, which means getting myself physically, mentally, and spiritually prepared. What that looks like is getting in shape. You never know how much walking/hiking/running/playing you may do. It means reviewing and working more on my Japanese, getting back to a place where I feel comfortable with the limited vocab and grammar I have. And it means praying, sowing, reading, listening. Preparing my heart for it. Even if God says no, I should always be ready, right? So waiting on the Lord.
And excited. Because my trust in God's timing and faithfulness in his promises allows me to be.
I love my Jesus. And he loves me. :)
--MovingGirl
I keep thinking that the country was only ever a military 'hop' away. Catch a flight with my daddy, be there a couple days and be back. Totally possible.
I've wanted to go so bad. And now an opportunity has arisen. Exactly the type of opportunity my heart has desired, too. To go with a TEAM of people. Not a school, not an "organization." I've wanted to go with a team whose hearts are all for Japan...long term, not short term. Not even for a few years to fulfill whatever missions quota they have. With a team that has a heart for the people, the culture, the land, etc.
And all about prayer and worship. God-oriented.
So now I wait on God for his word. Yes, no, wait...I'll be content with whatever it is because I have peace knowing that even if this isn't it, I will be there some day. And some day is okay with me. But also ready to go if he says yes, which means getting myself physically, mentally, and spiritually prepared. What that looks like is getting in shape. You never know how much walking/hiking/running/playing you may do. It means reviewing and working more on my Japanese, getting back to a place where I feel comfortable with the limited vocab and grammar I have. And it means praying, sowing, reading, listening. Preparing my heart for it. Even if God says no, I should always be ready, right? So waiting on the Lord.
And excited. Because my trust in God's timing and faithfulness in his promises allows me to be.
I love my Jesus. And he loves me. :)
--MovingGirl
Thursday, June 23, 2011
College Search #2
Second comment related to the same thing. Started thinking that maybe taking just one class or something while waiting on where we end up or something might not be too bad. That and I am getting extremely bored. And my diligence at studying japanese on my own has dwindled to buying myself study material I think might be helpful and sticking it on my shelf for a later day.
I need structure.
And I want to continue learning it. And Murray State U has Japanese classes. And after looking some more, multiple campuses, a jpn major....
But then I discovered something that made my heart go pitter patter, uniting two of my favorite things that I've been torn between into one major...International Affairs!
Eeeek! I am so excited! It looks so good and perfect. I can focus on East Asia with it and it requires foreign language so the required minor is easily translated to whatever language you learn.
So BA in Internationl Affairs, with a minor in Japanese.
I really think I want to do it.
I have great mentors...that just kind of came out of nowhere. I was just thinking about how much I am indulgent to the people I mentor, and then realized that my mentors are most likely the same with me. Whew. I'm blessed. So thank you all my mentors out there. You are amazing.
P.S.
Reminder for those of you who live in AK and want to say goodbye, Sunday evening @5 ChangePoint Church, Denali Room, use Main entrance, say hello and farewell.
--MovingGirl
I need structure.
And I want to continue learning it. And Murray State U has Japanese classes. And after looking some more, multiple campuses, a jpn major....
But then I discovered something that made my heart go pitter patter, uniting two of my favorite things that I've been torn between into one major...International Affairs!
Eeeek! I am so excited! It looks so good and perfect. I can focus on East Asia with it and it requires foreign language so the required minor is easily translated to whatever language you learn.
So BA in Internationl Affairs, with a minor in Japanese.
I really think I want to do it.
I have great mentors...that just kind of came out of nowhere. I was just thinking about how much I am indulgent to the people I mentor, and then realized that my mentors are most likely the same with me. Whew. I'm blessed. So thank you all my mentors out there. You are amazing.
P.S.
Reminder for those of you who live in AK and want to say goodbye, Sunday evening @5 ChangePoint Church, Denali Room, use Main entrance, say hello and farewell.
--MovingGirl
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Tambourine
The Tambourine
A cloth-covered bible
a button-up coat
three-tenths short pants
and a buttermilk horse
Carried a long way down
carried from town to town
the heaviest, weightiest,
treasured gold around
Rider drove here
rider drove there
rider went about
just everywhere
Took the jersey mud
to the California shore
brought the gold dustin’s back
and gave ‘em to the poor
With his father’s legacy
and The Faithful Friend
he rode and rode and rode
until the very end
And everywhere he travelled
he took it all with him
the heaviest, weightiest
treasure, pardon for man’s sin
The Gospel was his message
the road was his reward
and from his simple passing
brought ‘em all to the Lord
His name was soon forgotten
his horse died of old age
his worthless button-up coat
was torn and old and stained
His 3-tenths pants were passed around
till one young boy named Todd
second, third, fourth-handed
them and then
found
God
He also found in a trunk
a cloth-covered bible too
a little tambourine of bone
he brought home from school
And with his young brown pony
he rode through town to Maine
and starting there he carried
the Gospel to ‘sisco bay
And the old rider of memory
cheers at God’s side
as another circuit rider
takes up the call
and rides.
--MovingGirl
Japan
"Kindle Mariah's memories of Japan."
"I am sending her as a light to the nations."
"For as you understand you are the workmanship of my hands, a praise will spring forth and a worship will spring forth that will turn the world around you to me."
"Your life is a fragrance poured out, a blessing to me and a strength to those whom you are called to minister."
"FirePlace will spread with the oil of the Holy Spirit."
So I started learning Japanese.
I've taken a year, and am still studying on my own.
I've researched the different opportunities that will get me there.
I wept with the disasters.
I listened to the call placed on my life, and responded.
Ended up in Oklahoma.
Returned having been commissioned, blessed.
Doors opened.
But there is yet no direction from God. No blinking arrow or lit-up verse that gives me any clue as to how or when or where or why.
Nothing but a heart desiring.
And so I wait for Him. To move, so I can follow. It's hard, the waiting. I want to go. I want to go.
But I need direction so I wait.
And it is so hard.
A friend died yesterday. 26 years old, a work accident. She volunteered at my church with the youth and sunday services. That's most often when I'd see her.
Wish I had talked more. But there is no confusion like the time before. Just sadness. And a realization that 26 is young. What does God have for me? My time, my life...I want it to all be for Him. I want every moment to be one of loving Him. Because 26 is only 6 years away. How much time do we all really have?
--MovingGirl
"I am sending her as a light to the nations."
"For as you understand you are the workmanship of my hands, a praise will spring forth and a worship will spring forth that will turn the world around you to me."
"Your life is a fragrance poured out, a blessing to me and a strength to those whom you are called to minister."
"FirePlace will spread with the oil of the Holy Spirit."
So I started learning Japanese.
I've taken a year, and am still studying on my own.
I've researched the different opportunities that will get me there.
I wept with the disasters.
I listened to the call placed on my life, and responded.
Ended up in Oklahoma.
Returned having been commissioned, blessed.
Doors opened.
But there is yet no direction from God. No blinking arrow or lit-up verse that gives me any clue as to how or when or where or why.
Nothing but a heart desiring.
And so I wait for Him. To move, so I can follow. It's hard, the waiting. I want to go. I want to go.
But I need direction so I wait.
And it is so hard.
A friend died yesterday. 26 years old, a work accident. She volunteered at my church with the youth and sunday services. That's most often when I'd see her.
Wish I had talked more. But there is no confusion like the time before. Just sadness. And a realization that 26 is young. What does God have for me? My time, my life...I want it to all be for Him. I want every moment to be one of loving Him. Because 26 is only 6 years away. How much time do we all really have?
--MovingGirl
Friday, June 17, 2011
Come, Let's Go Up to the Mountain
I wanna worship you...
Found the song "Come Let Us go up the Mountain" by MorningStar on our CD Fly Me Like the Wind.
I'm in love. With God.
Some songs take you right to the throne room. This one does for me.
Going to the Alaska Burn tonight. Can't wait to worship God with others.
From the Valley to the Peninsula
from the Bering Sea to the Capitol
May Your glory rise in the heart,
the heart of our state, our cities
Let it rise as incense to You
to Your heart, Father, connecting
the two until we, The Bride,
stand united in Your name
May Your name shine above
in the heavens the stars
Let the aurora praise You
the mountains clap their hands
So that we may be a crown
upon the nation's head
a precious treasure in Your eyes
Let us go up to the Mountain
Teach us Your ways, O Lord
Let us walk in the right paths
Into the heart of the Father
Songs lifted up from the earth
from the tundra and the plains
from the city and the village
from our hearts to Yours
May we embrace the fulness
of life with You, O God
To lift our hearts unto You
for cleaning, measuring,
the purifying work of Your Son
the Blood covering, our promise
"Come, let us go up the Mountain
Come, Let us go to the Lord
Come, let us go up the Mountain
He will teach us his ways"-FMLW
May Alaska bring You glory
As we worship You
--MovingGirl
Found the song "Come Let Us go up the Mountain" by MorningStar on our CD Fly Me Like the Wind.
I'm in love. With God.
Some songs take you right to the throne room. This one does for me.
Going to the Alaska Burn tonight. Can't wait to worship God with others.
From the Valley to the Peninsula
from the Bering Sea to the Capitol
May Your glory rise in the heart,
the heart of our state, our cities
Let it rise as incense to You
to Your heart, Father, connecting
the two until we, The Bride,
stand united in Your name
May Your name shine above
in the heavens the stars
Let the aurora praise You
the mountains clap their hands
So that we may be a crown
upon the nation's head
a precious treasure in Your eyes
Let us go up to the Mountain
Teach us Your ways, O Lord
Let us walk in the right paths
Into the heart of the Father
Songs lifted up from the earth
from the tundra and the plains
from the city and the village
from our hearts to Yours
May we embrace the fulness
of life with You, O God
To lift our hearts unto You
for cleaning, measuring,
the purifying work of Your Son
the Blood covering, our promise
"Come, let us go up the Mountain
Come, Let us go to the Lord
Come, let us go up the Mountain
He will teach us his ways"-FMLW
May Alaska bring You glory
As we worship You
--MovingGirl
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Moving Again
Can't put it off any longer, although filling this blog with everything BUT the moving process has been fun.
We have buyers for our house, a military couple (ret.) with one daughter. They are ready to get the process going, and right now, we could be out of our house by next week. This following on top of the movers coming as of yesterday and taking away all our household possessions...which really didn't equal much more than half a garage full. Still, we are suddenly moving again and frankly, we're all getting fearful. But we don't know what about. And we haven't had time to feel any of our emotions because we've been so busy.
We're down to pretty much our bare minimum...still have books that aren't packed yet, but we're shipping those separately for the media rate to save some money. It's empty and definitely not ours anymore. I don't know where we are going to stay for the rest of the time.
Now we need Chris' house to sell. Hopefully we'll get word on a buyer here soon.
Attending Northgate AK's Burn this weekend. All night prayer and worship, always an awesome time. Never been there before, though, so I'm kind of confused as to the location. I'll have to email or something. Anyway, that will be good. Have tons of friends I'd love to have come as well but they are all working. I just got lucky.
Psalm 119 in the Message has been amazing. I love it, and am planning on memorizing it with my sister. We'll see how far we get. But right now if there is any message God has been speaking to me it is about obedience. And I tend to be very selective in my hearing and very inactive in my obedience. So I figure Psalm 119 is a good one to have popping into my head when I'm tempted to ignore whatever it is I'm supposed to do.
I'm so hungry for God, and yet the more I get closer the more I see my ugliness. I don't want to be the Me I am. I don't like who I am when I'm not walking close to God, and the me when I do is still not very pretty. My words when written speak for me. But my mouth never seems to be able to communicate what I want it to when speaking aloud. Everything always comes out wrong. I feel like even what I mean for encouragement and laughter turns into awkward silences.
I'm bored and tired. I know part of this is because I've just come out of a place where God was so present for a long time, and now I'm at a point where I have to diligently seek him. And I'm tired. Even though I'm not really doing anything, working and a little bit of moving-related stuff, I always feel exhausted. I know that's partly my own fault, and not having daily God time. Sigh.
Which is why I'm starting memorizing scripture again. Psalm 119 in particular.
My family is having a Going Away Send-Off/Reception at ChangePoint June 26th. I think it was from 5-7pm in the Denali Room, but I'm sure we'll be there longer. 2 hours to talk with all our friends? Hah. Anyway, everyone and their friends are free to come. Right now I don't know what it will actually look like or if there will be food, activities, etc. I was thinking it was just going to be drop-in, fellowship and probably food. I DO know that we will have a guestbook of sorts that people can write in or whatever they wish to say goodbye. I'd love to see everyone we know there.
On a final note, I pray it will be sunny on our drive out.
--MovingGirl
We have buyers for our house, a military couple (ret.) with one daughter. They are ready to get the process going, and right now, we could be out of our house by next week. This following on top of the movers coming as of yesterday and taking away all our household possessions...which really didn't equal much more than half a garage full. Still, we are suddenly moving again and frankly, we're all getting fearful. But we don't know what about. And we haven't had time to feel any of our emotions because we've been so busy.
We're down to pretty much our bare minimum...still have books that aren't packed yet, but we're shipping those separately for the media rate to save some money. It's empty and definitely not ours anymore. I don't know where we are going to stay for the rest of the time.
Now we need Chris' house to sell. Hopefully we'll get word on a buyer here soon.
Attending Northgate AK's Burn this weekend. All night prayer and worship, always an awesome time. Never been there before, though, so I'm kind of confused as to the location. I'll have to email or something. Anyway, that will be good. Have tons of friends I'd love to have come as well but they are all working. I just got lucky.
Psalm 119 in the Message has been amazing. I love it, and am planning on memorizing it with my sister. We'll see how far we get. But right now if there is any message God has been speaking to me it is about obedience. And I tend to be very selective in my hearing and very inactive in my obedience. So I figure Psalm 119 is a good one to have popping into my head when I'm tempted to ignore whatever it is I'm supposed to do.
I'm so hungry for God, and yet the more I get closer the more I see my ugliness. I don't want to be the Me I am. I don't like who I am when I'm not walking close to God, and the me when I do is still not very pretty. My words when written speak for me. But my mouth never seems to be able to communicate what I want it to when speaking aloud. Everything always comes out wrong. I feel like even what I mean for encouragement and laughter turns into awkward silences.
I'm bored and tired. I know part of this is because I've just come out of a place where God was so present for a long time, and now I'm at a point where I have to diligently seek him. And I'm tired. Even though I'm not really doing anything, working and a little bit of moving-related stuff, I always feel exhausted. I know that's partly my own fault, and not having daily God time. Sigh.
Which is why I'm starting memorizing scripture again. Psalm 119 in particular.
My family is having a Going Away Send-Off/Reception at ChangePoint June 26th. I think it was from 5-7pm in the Denali Room, but I'm sure we'll be there longer. 2 hours to talk with all our friends? Hah. Anyway, everyone and their friends are free to come. Right now I don't know what it will actually look like or if there will be food, activities, etc. I was thinking it was just going to be drop-in, fellowship and probably food. I DO know that we will have a guestbook of sorts that people can write in or whatever they wish to say goodbye. I'd love to see everyone we know there.
On a final note, I pray it will be sunny on our drive out.
--MovingGirl
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Deep Wisdom
Psalm 119:25-32, a Meditation
Train me well in Your deep wisdom.
I just want to be with you.
Bury me deep in your pools.
Send me to the depths of the waters.
Wash me clean with the river of your love.
Train me well in your deep wisdom.
I just want to be with you.
Let me sink into the warmth.
Drown me in your presense.
Baptize me with your goodness.
Let my cup be filled to overflowing.
Mercy and Grace be poured out.
Train me well in your deep wisdom.
I just want to be with you.
--MovingGirl
Train me well in Your deep wisdom.
I just want to be with you.
Bury me deep in your pools.
Send me to the depths of the waters.
Wash me clean with the river of your love.
Train me well in your deep wisdom.
I just want to be with you.
Let me sink into the warmth.
Drown me in your presense.
Baptize me with your goodness.
Let my cup be filled to overflowing.
Mercy and Grace be poured out.
Train me well in your deep wisdom.
I just want to be with you.
--MovingGirl
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Heart Lesson: Hard Lessons
For the first time in my short life I've discovered the painful reality of a pinch. Just sat down on the couch yesterday looking forward to playing some Halo (the release about the first Halo being beautified stirred up some longing for the game), when snap! At first I thought it was one of those normal 'ole back pain where you have to find that spot where you can stand until it goes away. Nope. I was hurting.
Anyway, I ended up on the floor in a kneeling position first, trying to gently stretch out my back. I did realize that this was a humiliating experience, to have myself stuck in this position with my whole family looking on. I was helpless. I couldn't move without help. My sister basically had to feed me the advil and water. I didn't like it. I was stuck, and helpless. Then I ended up on my stomach after doing some painful back stretches and with my face in the floor and tears and hot breath making it hard to breathe I gave up. It was like the hand of God was upon my back. Teaching me a lesson.
About pride. About humility. About being willing to allow others to help you, even when it is embarrassing. This lesson literally followin a whole day of this same exact lesson, but in different ways.
I was emotionally and physically exhausted by the time I got to bed.
Really. I am so thankful for these lessons. They are so good. (Thank you, God.) Even though they hurt and are hard, when I ask him to teach me something I know in my head, but not my heart, he has been faithful to fulfill those requests. Usually I don't recognize it until after, though.
But I can only be grateful for this pain. It's taught me a lot in the past few days.
--MovingGirl
Anyway, I ended up on the floor in a kneeling position first, trying to gently stretch out my back. I did realize that this was a humiliating experience, to have myself stuck in this position with my whole family looking on. I was helpless. I couldn't move without help. My sister basically had to feed me the advil and water. I didn't like it. I was stuck, and helpless. Then I ended up on my stomach after doing some painful back stretches and with my face in the floor and tears and hot breath making it hard to breathe I gave up. It was like the hand of God was upon my back. Teaching me a lesson.
About pride. About humility. About being willing to allow others to help you, even when it is embarrassing. This lesson literally followin a whole day of this same exact lesson, but in different ways.
I was emotionally and physically exhausted by the time I got to bed.
Really. I am so thankful for these lessons. They are so good. (Thank you, God.) Even though they hurt and are hard, when I ask him to teach me something I know in my head, but not my heart, he has been faithful to fulfill those requests. Usually I don't recognize it until after, though.
But I can only be grateful for this pain. It's taught me a lot in the past few days.
--MovingGirl
Friday, June 3, 2011
AK-Vision
My heart suddenly saw two images. The first, Alaska's mountain Sleeping Lady with God, the King of Kings, leaning over her, and as he gave her a kiss, his heart touched the place where her heart lay, and his heart-beat acted as a jumpstart. As his heart beat, Sleeping Lady's heart began to beat with it. She was waking up.
(This vision was a continuation from a picture I saw which several Alaskan artists painted while they worshiped. Art is Worship / Sleeping Lady Awaken)
The second, as a prayer came out of my lips: "May the heart of our city, our state, be connected with the Father's heart" I saw a woman standing with her feet planted firmly in the heart of the city/state, and her arms outstretched towards heaven, towards the Father's heart. And as she did so, the two connected with a bolt of lightning, like a lightning rod, from her feet to the city and from her hands to the father. She was the conduit. The picture began to get smaller as the "camera" of sorts withdrew and as it did so I saw the lady/lightning bolt in the middle of an eye, and as it further withdrew, I saw that it was the pupil, it was in the center of the eye of God.
It was beautiful. I knew this, that the lady was both Sleeping Lady and the Bride of Christ. Both for Alaska, and the world. And it was in the eye of God. I cannot express the beauty.
(This vision was a continuation from a picture I saw which several Alaskan artists painted while they worshiped. Art is Worship / Sleeping Lady Awaken)
The second, as a prayer came out of my lips: "May the heart of our city, our state, be connected with the Father's heart" I saw a woman standing with her feet planted firmly in the heart of the city/state, and her arms outstretched towards heaven, towards the Father's heart. And as she did so, the two connected with a bolt of lightning, like a lightning rod, from her feet to the city and from her hands to the father. She was the conduit. The picture began to get smaller as the "camera" of sorts withdrew and as it did so I saw the lady/lightning bolt in the middle of an eye, and as it further withdrew, I saw that it was the pupil, it was in the center of the eye of God.
It was beautiful. I knew this, that the lady was both Sleeping Lady and the Bride of Christ. Both for Alaska, and the world. And it was in the eye of God. I cannot express the beauty.
Hurting
There are many things I think that are making me hurt.
But one in particular.
And I decided not to analyze my feelings in a logical way.
So here I am, God, raw and sore and wounded.
Unintentionally.
Completely without guile.
I've been hurt by silence.
By silence.
Logistics seem minimally connected to my hurt.
The reasons are small.
But my heart is hurting.
I found out today that a well-known worship leader
will be up here in AK this summer. For a little over a week. And he will be in several cities. Except two major ones: Anchorage and Fairbanks. The two largest cities outside of the Valley. Why? I don't know. All I've known is silence.
Want to know how I found out?
I discovered 24-7 prayer. Went to the national gathering. Discovered Sean Feucht and Burn 24-7. Went to the website, found the itinerary. Little info. Posted on FB. Friend down in TEXAS, tells me where to find out more. Check it out. See a website attached to the event. Look up website, find a ministry here in AK. Never heard of it. It's located in the Valley, only about 45mins to an hour away. It's pretty big. Ask around. No one has heard of it. Either it is the best kept secret, or people are keeping quiet for other reasons.
Can't find anything disagreeable with what I see on the website. I keep wondering why a movement/ministry focused on prayer and worship and youth and fire, etc...has gone by so quiet. I am pretty sure their website is pretty new, so it may be that they are just starting to grow or something, but regardless...
I'm hurt. I'm hurt. And yet not angry. Just...wounded.
Why are the churches of Anchorage so...separated? Why are they so bad at communicating between each other about events, sharing these events, etc. Why have I never heard of any of these things at my church? I know part of the reason why. Why do we who believe in tongues (praying without an interpreter), prophecy, worship (all-out), have to keep so quiet and hidden?
We do. I've only recently seen people start coming "out of the wood-works" as it were...and that because I am finally being bolder about MY beliefs/involvement.
I don't know what to feel.
But one in particular.
And I decided not to analyze my feelings in a logical way.
So here I am, God, raw and sore and wounded.
Unintentionally.
Completely without guile.
I've been hurt by silence.
By silence.
Logistics seem minimally connected to my hurt.
The reasons are small.
But my heart is hurting.
I found out today that a well-known worship leader
will be up here in AK this summer. For a little over a week. And he will be in several cities. Except two major ones: Anchorage and Fairbanks. The two largest cities outside of the Valley. Why? I don't know. All I've known is silence.
Want to know how I found out?
I discovered 24-7 prayer. Went to the national gathering. Discovered Sean Feucht and Burn 24-7. Went to the website, found the itinerary. Little info. Posted on FB. Friend down in TEXAS, tells me where to find out more. Check it out. See a website attached to the event. Look up website, find a ministry here in AK. Never heard of it. It's located in the Valley, only about 45mins to an hour away. It's pretty big. Ask around. No one has heard of it. Either it is the best kept secret, or people are keeping quiet for other reasons.
Can't find anything disagreeable with what I see on the website. I keep wondering why a movement/ministry focused on prayer and worship and youth and fire, etc...has gone by so quiet. I am pretty sure their website is pretty new, so it may be that they are just starting to grow or something, but regardless...
I'm hurt. I'm hurt. And yet not angry. Just...wounded.
Why are the churches of Anchorage so...separated? Why are they so bad at communicating between each other about events, sharing these events, etc. Why have I never heard of any of these things at my church? I know part of the reason why. Why do we who believe in tongues (praying without an interpreter), prophecy, worship (all-out), have to keep so quiet and hidden?
We do. I've only recently seen people start coming "out of the wood-works" as it were...and that because I am finally being bolder about MY beliefs/involvement.
I don't know what to feel.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Silent
I had meant to post sometime over the weekend but it never happened. In reality, I'm still recovering from all the God-awesomeness that went on. I have a long story, or many little stories that would take me forever to write, so I'll say if you want to hear some of them ask me in person, otherwise I'll post them on here if I get to it.
I will say this, God was there, his hand was there, and his heart. My life seems to flooded. And yet at the same time I'm now restless. Learning patience as I sit here in AK waiting for things to get going. Such as moving...driving out of here. Being down there. As I am in transition between states, I am also in transition for my life. I have no idea where I am supposed to go from here. Do I just live with my family for the next year, working, or is there something else for me? A school, internship, ministry to be a part of? I love Japan, my heart has been aching for them the past few months, my good friend, Emilee got a taste of my pain when she was up here for...a break. Christmas? Anyway, I'm starting to feel that way again. Frustration at not having any outlets for my heart. Jesus has been my sustenance this far, but I have to say, patience is a really hard thing to learn. But I know me, I'm all about jumping head first into something and never finishing it. Usually because it dries up from not being God-approved. So I want to wait on him, definitely.
If you could be praying for my heart and its direction and patience to wait upon the Lord. I'd appreciate it.
--MovingGirl
I will say this, God was there, his hand was there, and his heart. My life seems to flooded. And yet at the same time I'm now restless. Learning patience as I sit here in AK waiting for things to get going. Such as moving...driving out of here. Being down there. As I am in transition between states, I am also in transition for my life. I have no idea where I am supposed to go from here. Do I just live with my family for the next year, working, or is there something else for me? A school, internship, ministry to be a part of? I love Japan, my heart has been aching for them the past few months, my good friend, Emilee got a taste of my pain when she was up here for...a break. Christmas? Anyway, I'm starting to feel that way again. Frustration at not having any outlets for my heart. Jesus has been my sustenance this far, but I have to say, patience is a really hard thing to learn. But I know me, I'm all about jumping head first into something and never finishing it. Usually because it dries up from not being God-approved. So I want to wait on him, definitely.
If you could be praying for my heart and its direction and patience to wait upon the Lord. I'd appreciate it.
--MovingGirl
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The List
As things get accomplished The List will diminish until only the title remains. Then I will write a blog post about it. ;) And as the day goes on I'm sure things will be added, too.
Things I need to remember to pack...
-sunglasses
-windbreaker (BUY!)
-wallet
-sheets
-pillow
-hairdryer??
Things to do:
-buy windbreaker
-get cash
-get uncle's phone number
-make sure he has mine
Things I need to remember to pack...
-sunglasses
-windbreaker (BUY!)
-wallet
-sheets
-pillow
-hairdryer??
Things to do:
-buy windbreaker
-get cash
-get uncle's phone number
-make sure he has mine
Monday, May 23, 2011
Tornadoes
Midwest got hit hard and many places are still under tornado watches, some with flash floods too...
If anyone has a few extra minutes to send up prayers regarding the destruction and pain resulting, please do so. I'm a bit worried because the words going out were that it was only going to get worse (after the Alabama tornadoes). I pray for mercy and grace in this time.
Pray with me.
--MovingGirl
If anyone has a few extra minutes to send up prayers regarding the destruction and pain resulting, please do so. I'm a bit worried because the words going out were that it was only going to get worse (after the Alabama tornadoes). I pray for mercy and grace in this time.
Pray with me.
--MovingGirl
Coming to Mount Horeb
Gathered at the foot
of the mountain
of God.
Waiting expectantly
for the word
of God.
We've come together
all of us called
by God.
Gathered at the foot
of the mountain
of God.
Mount Horeb,
desolation,
sun and heat
moon and glow
Yhwh's rock.
The Mountain
of The Lord.
At the foot of the mountain
in anticipation of the words
of God, we wait. Joined
gathered, united,
expectant. We've been called
together for a moment
a sound
rising up within us now.
The burning bush
the small whisper
God speaks here
at Mount Horeb.
God fulfills his promises here
at Mount Horeb.
God gives direction here
at Mount Horeb.
God gives vision here
at Mount Horeb.
We are coming to the Mountain
The Mountain of our Lord.
We are coming to Mount Horeb
to hear I AM speak.
And as we stand together
at the foot of the great mount
He speaks to us in many ways
with whisper and with shout!
We wait upon the LORD!
With hope in our bows!
With grace on our lips!
And humility in our hearts!
United we stand together
and SHOUT for victory!
As we come to Mount Horeb
and hear the LORD our God speak!
--MovingGirl
of the mountain
of God.
Waiting expectantly
for the word
of God.
We've come together
all of us called
by God.
Gathered at the foot
of the mountain
of God.
Mount Horeb,
desolation,
sun and heat
moon and glow
Yhwh's rock.
The Mountain
of The Lord.
At the foot of the mountain
in anticipation of the words
of God, we wait. Joined
gathered, united,
expectant. We've been called
together for a moment
a sound
rising up within us now.
The burning bush
the small whisper
God speaks here
at Mount Horeb.
God fulfills his promises here
at Mount Horeb.
God gives direction here
at Mount Horeb.
God gives vision here
at Mount Horeb.
We are coming to the Mountain
The Mountain of our Lord.
We are coming to Mount Horeb
to hear I AM speak.
And as we stand together
at the foot of the great mount
He speaks to us in many ways
with whisper and with shout!
We wait upon the LORD!
With hope in our bows!
With grace on our lips!
And humility in our hearts!
United we stand together
and SHOUT for victory!
As we come to Mount Horeb
and hear the LORD our God speak!
--MovingGirl
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Vision
Vision of Fire and Youth
Six o'clock and rain is pounding
Arms are raised in supplication
A great sound rises in our hearts
Thickening the air around us
Fire leaps within our bones
Trumpet cries are released
And the horn blows a final sound!
The army of God is on its knees
A warehouse filled with youth
As drums beat out the songs of war
Dancing as conquered kings
Our God, we worship, we adore!
Nine o'clock and drums are pounding
Hearts are surrendered to our God
Holiness is present, evident, here!
Let the Spirit be upon us now!
Peace and mercy, grace pour out
As the Spirit falls upon us all
And as One, rising to our feet
We give a glorious, resounding call!
The house is shaken with the sound
The glory rising up from within
As God the Father smiles down
And sees us wholly praising him
Twelve am and hearts are pounding
The presence of Jesus fills us up
Each life, each Spirit firmly joining
Unity, the wine inside our cup
We gaze heavenward in expectation
Waiting upon our God and King
And with one voice in supplication
We declare his eternal victory!
Shock-waves send us to the floor
Our bodies filled with golden light
Heads bowed in fear of the LORD
We witness our God in his might!
Three am and rain is pounding
The glory of the LORD all around us
We bask in the warmth and fellowship
And smile at each other in joy
For this night of worship is like no other
Never before have we been so awed
So bathed in the goodness of our Father
As we worship him in truth and love
Now as morning rises with the Son
Healing in his wings
Full of the experience of his presence
We go home to our families
Six am and feet are pounding
Door to door the youth are running
Jesus Christ is LORD! Is LORD!
The Messengers have been commissioned.
I can't wait.
--MovingGirl
Six o'clock and rain is pounding
Arms are raised in supplication
A great sound rises in our hearts
Thickening the air around us
Fire leaps within our bones
Trumpet cries are released
And the horn blows a final sound!
The army of God is on its knees
A warehouse filled with youth
As drums beat out the songs of war
Dancing as conquered kings
Our God, we worship, we adore!
Nine o'clock and drums are pounding
Hearts are surrendered to our God
Holiness is present, evident, here!
Let the Spirit be upon us now!
Peace and mercy, grace pour out
As the Spirit falls upon us all
And as One, rising to our feet
We give a glorious, resounding call!
The house is shaken with the sound
The glory rising up from within
As God the Father smiles down
And sees us wholly praising him
Twelve am and hearts are pounding
The presence of Jesus fills us up
Each life, each Spirit firmly joining
Unity, the wine inside our cup
We gaze heavenward in expectation
Waiting upon our God and King
And with one voice in supplication
We declare his eternal victory!
Shock-waves send us to the floor
Our bodies filled with golden light
Heads bowed in fear of the LORD
We witness our God in his might!
Three am and rain is pounding
The glory of the LORD all around us
We bask in the warmth and fellowship
And smile at each other in joy
For this night of worship is like no other
Never before have we been so awed
So bathed in the goodness of our Father
As we worship him in truth and love
Now as morning rises with the Son
Healing in his wings
Full of the experience of his presence
We go home to our families
Six am and feet are pounding
Door to door the youth are running
Jesus Christ is LORD! Is LORD!
The Messengers have been commissioned.
I can't wait.
--MovingGirl
Friday, May 20, 2011
Battlegrounds
Reading the Three Battlegrounds by Francis Frangipane. I know I've read through it before, found Jesus Loves Me bookmarks in it from years ago. What type of 4th or 5th grader was I? No normal young adult book for me, no, I chose to read about Spiritual warfare...lol.
I'm cool with it, better that then twilight, I say. And I have to wonder if those things are the reasons why I don't have many problems with accepting supernatural and spiritual things. Or even the basics like tongues. I received the baptism when I was young, 10 or 11 and a Holy-Spirit filled friend of ours was playing the piano in the Spirit. I started singing in tongues. And it went from there. Ever since I was young I've been exposed to the power of the Holy Spirit. In my parents, mentors, friends...and in a safe place, too. In a church where I can ground myself of solid biblical doctrine, in a family who is open to the Holy Spirit's work and cautious of going "overboard."
Doesn't mean my life has been beautiful or happy all the time. The opposite is true. I often find myself having to fight tooth and nail for the happiness, such as making the decision to smile up at God in the midst of pain, depression, and yuck. I've been pressed, persecuted, struck down...and yes, not crushed, abandoned, or destroyed. Through the grace of God. Some people look at me and think I lead a blessed life. I do. God has given me an amazing family, an amazing church, mentors, friends (now), and tons more. But I have struggles too. My struggles just aren't the readily evident ones of poverty, strife, broken family, etc. And sometimes I think they would be easier. But God has given each of us certain gifts, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. And I believe that they are always going to be what we need according to what our individual situations are. God promises never to give us more than we can handle.
Mostly, I find my hardest battles to be the ones where I am fighting myself. My thoughts are the number one place where I struggle. Because of where I went those three years, I dug myself into a habitual thought life that even now, in the midst of all God's blessing, sneaks back up. And it is SO easy to go there. It scares me sometimes...I scare me sometimes. But it's a place where I surrendered to the enemy in my life. And now, as God is helping me to tear down that stronghold, he's fighting back.
Seriously and literally, last night was a hard-earned victory. I wanted to go there, I almost did, but I called upon the name of the Lord, and he saved me. From myself. I said, "Jesus, help me, Jesus, help me, Jesus, help me," over and over until I could sleep.
And I love him all the more for it. I understand the psalmist's feelings in 116. "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, for he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me I will call on him, for as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me. The Lord protects the simple-hearted; I was in great need, and he saved me."
--MovingGirl
I'm cool with it, better that then twilight, I say. And I have to wonder if those things are the reasons why I don't have many problems with accepting supernatural and spiritual things. Or even the basics like tongues. I received the baptism when I was young, 10 or 11 and a Holy-Spirit filled friend of ours was playing the piano in the Spirit. I started singing in tongues. And it went from there. Ever since I was young I've been exposed to the power of the Holy Spirit. In my parents, mentors, friends...and in a safe place, too. In a church where I can ground myself of solid biblical doctrine, in a family who is open to the Holy Spirit's work and cautious of going "overboard."
Doesn't mean my life has been beautiful or happy all the time. The opposite is true. I often find myself having to fight tooth and nail for the happiness, such as making the decision to smile up at God in the midst of pain, depression, and yuck. I've been pressed, persecuted, struck down...and yes, not crushed, abandoned, or destroyed. Through the grace of God. Some people look at me and think I lead a blessed life. I do. God has given me an amazing family, an amazing church, mentors, friends (now), and tons more. But I have struggles too. My struggles just aren't the readily evident ones of poverty, strife, broken family, etc. And sometimes I think they would be easier. But God has given each of us certain gifts, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. And I believe that they are always going to be what we need according to what our individual situations are. God promises never to give us more than we can handle.
Mostly, I find my hardest battles to be the ones where I am fighting myself. My thoughts are the number one place where I struggle. Because of where I went those three years, I dug myself into a habitual thought life that even now, in the midst of all God's blessing, sneaks back up. And it is SO easy to go there. It scares me sometimes...I scare me sometimes. But it's a place where I surrendered to the enemy in my life. And now, as God is helping me to tear down that stronghold, he's fighting back.
Seriously and literally, last night was a hard-earned victory. I wanted to go there, I almost did, but I called upon the name of the Lord, and he saved me. From myself. I said, "Jesus, help me, Jesus, help me, Jesus, help me," over and over until I could sleep.
And I love him all the more for it. I understand the psalmist's feelings in 116. "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, for he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me I will call on him, for as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me. The Lord protects the simple-hearted; I was in great need, and he saved me."
--MovingGirl
Pirates 4 Midnight Showing
Saw Pirates last night, the mid-am showing, and didn't get home and to sleep till 4am. Blah. So tired. And I'm not sure it was worth it. It felt unfulfilled, like they left too many loose ends and unanswered questions...even if purposely for a sequel. Like why the Spanish show up in the beginning, and at the end, with little to no other involvement in the movie. Ghosts, anyone? Plus the...romance...between missionary man and, ahem, Serena the mermaid? She disappears with him at the end. Merbutler? Or dinner? We don't know. Their story almost seemed entirely unnecessary to the plot of the story. Would we have missed it? No, but it made the movie longer. They needed to cut something out to flesh out another part. Like Barbosa. We need more to go on for his revenge too. It as like they, in leaving the movie open for whatever comes next, went overboard. Diving right off that plank into the stormy waters of "why is this character here again?"
Other than that, Jack had his characteristic silliness that drove the first three movies, if not a tad more corny in this one. With Blackbeard's voodoo he performed I was a little upset, considering there was no reason for it to be there, heck, his ship/sword combo was creepy enough and just fine. And yes, you could tell Cruz was pregnant in several scenes.
A bit too everywhere, they needed to trim their sails a bit--focus on the important aspects.
Final word: it doesn't work too well as a stand-alone, not because it is connected with the first three, but because you know there has to be more coming. Like Harry Potter 1/2.
--MovingGirl
Other than that, Jack had his characteristic silliness that drove the first three movies, if not a tad more corny in this one. With Blackbeard's voodoo he performed I was a little upset, considering there was no reason for it to be there, heck, his ship/sword combo was creepy enough and just fine. And yes, you could tell Cruz was pregnant in several scenes.
A bit too everywhere, they needed to trim their sails a bit--focus on the important aspects.
Final word: it doesn't work too well as a stand-alone, not because it is connected with the first three, but because you know there has to be more coming. Like Harry Potter 1/2.
--MovingGirl
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Smile
Sometimes a little post is all you feel up to. My heart has felt disturbed and attacked and yucky the past few days. I scared myself yesterday by the way I was acting. Hadn't seen that Me in a long time. Don't want to see it again. But the grace of God is unending and so gently, sweetly, reprimanding. Takes you to repentance, and forgiveness. And while my spirit still feels at war with myself moreso than I've felt in a long while, I can bask in the sunshiny love of my God.
Days like this when my heart feels like poison is eating away at it: so many downers, bad thoughts, and depression, sometimes a little smile up at God in the midst of it all just pours healing balm all over the hurt. He loves to pour out his love.
So I look up to the heavens, my limbs weighed down by all the blackness, my face the only part above the dark waters...and I look up toward the heavens and smile at my Father. Knowing he loves me deeply and truly and that he will never let go, and as I do, a shaft of light shoots down and ignites my soul, and the darkness screams, it flees, because the Father is smiling down at me.
This is the image he gives me. I love him all the more for it.
So I smile.
--MovingGirl
Days like this when my heart feels like poison is eating away at it: so many downers, bad thoughts, and depression, sometimes a little smile up at God in the midst of it all just pours healing balm all over the hurt. He loves to pour out his love.
So I look up to the heavens, my limbs weighed down by all the blackness, my face the only part above the dark waters...and I look up toward the heavens and smile at my Father. Knowing he loves me deeply and truly and that he will never let go, and as I do, a shaft of light shoots down and ignites my soul, and the darkness screams, it flees, because the Father is smiling down at me.
This is the image he gives me. I love him all the more for it.
So I smile.
--MovingGirl
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Gifts
This is what the survey says are my spiritual gifts as of today. What do you think? (Those who know me)...it's always interesting to see how they change subtly over the years. My last one about a year ago didn't even include hospitality in sub or faith in dom. I love seeing the ways I grow. And as I get more experience in some of the gifts, the list keeps changing. :)
DOMINATE:
1. FAITH
2. EXHORTATION
3.1 LEADERSHIP
3.2 ADMINISTRATION
SUBORDINATE:
1. PASTOR
2. WISDOM
3.1 PROPHECY
3.2 MISSIONARY
3.3 HOSPITALITY
Gotta Be Brief
...because there is so much to say and so little time, it will be sort of bullet-pointed, this post.
Realtor's phone call:
So my dad was at work the other day, in the middle of interviewing a guy, and he got a phone call. He answered it and it was a realtor calling on our craigslist ad for our house. She totally ended up blessing my dad and our family through HUGE confirmations and some pretty awesome words from the Lord. She'll be over this weekend for lunch. Ask me about it in person if you run into me.
Then we got all of our salmon canned in bunches of yummy flavors. And no, I don't like fish, but the flavors sounded yummy. We ended up with 120 cans. We were expecting 30. God told us that they will be used to bless others.
Alayna got her wisdom teeth pulled, all four, poor girl, and it really took her out. But it also lead to the next point of Becca's (Daughter of the Most High) baptism in the Spirit. For several months now we've been praying and she's been asking God and doing her bible studies on it and out of the blue she came over to pray for Alayna and it was the moment. Such an awesome story. My first time, too, ever laying hands on someone. It was a pretty cool night all together.
Then we also (my family and I) went over to our friend Christine's house (the adopted family member and former piano teacher of ours that is going down to TN/KY with us) and prayed through and over her house. We cleaned it up, spiritually. It feels light and airy and refreshingly different now. That was cool.
And last, but not least, ten days before the gathering in Tulsa, OK God came through in an unexpected and very cool way. After everything that he had been taking me through, which can be read in previous posts, I finally emailed the 24-7 prayer people down there, got transportation info, and posted my requests on facebook. Whew, act of faith. Then, I got my paycheck and paid my conference fee...before I had transformation down there. And facebook was silent. My email was silent. My phone was silent. I heard nothing. Two days of patiently waiting for that message, that phone call. Nothing. I'd never been so facebook comment-barren before. It was eery. Seriously. Then, on Saturday, my family and I went over to Chris's house to finish the remodeling of an upstairs bedroom (my dad and brother had worked on it till 4:30 am the previous night, went home to sleep for three hours, and came back) because she had a house showing at 1:30 that day. Well, for the showing, she had to be gone, so she took me and we drove out to Portage (Glacier, for the non-Alaskans, about 45 mins out of town). On the drive she offered me-quite out of the blue-her alaska airline miles. I was speechless, which she commented on later saying "I've never seen you speechless before" surely referring to my incessant need to talk. The next day I went over to her house, we got on the comp and booked the flight. And guess what, (When God tells you to wait on him, and you do, this is what he does), the only flight available to Tulsa was through partner airline American and as the only one available, I got bumped up to first class all the way there and all the way back for the COACH price. That was pretty cool, it will be a first-time experience for me.
But one of the things I prayed for earlier on, was that if God got me down there, that he would seat me next to someone with whom I could share the story. in first class, there is only one person sitting next to me. I pray that it would be someone to whom I could share, minister to, and encourage. ;) I'm excited because I'm pretty sure that it will happen. Plus it's a night flight. I LOVE those.
God is sooo good. I'm always overwhelmed anymore. Even in his forgiveness, which will be my next post.
--MovingGirl
Realtor's phone call:
So my dad was at work the other day, in the middle of interviewing a guy, and he got a phone call. He answered it and it was a realtor calling on our craigslist ad for our house. She totally ended up blessing my dad and our family through HUGE confirmations and some pretty awesome words from the Lord. She'll be over this weekend for lunch. Ask me about it in person if you run into me.
Then we got all of our salmon canned in bunches of yummy flavors. And no, I don't like fish, but the flavors sounded yummy. We ended up with 120 cans. We were expecting 30. God told us that they will be used to bless others.
Alayna got her wisdom teeth pulled, all four, poor girl, and it really took her out. But it also lead to the next point of Becca's (Daughter of the Most High) baptism in the Spirit. For several months now we've been praying and she's been asking God and doing her bible studies on it and out of the blue she came over to pray for Alayna and it was the moment. Such an awesome story. My first time, too, ever laying hands on someone. It was a pretty cool night all together.
Then we also (my family and I) went over to our friend Christine's house (the adopted family member and former piano teacher of ours that is going down to TN/KY with us) and prayed through and over her house. We cleaned it up, spiritually. It feels light and airy and refreshingly different now. That was cool.
And last, but not least, ten days before the gathering in Tulsa, OK God came through in an unexpected and very cool way. After everything that he had been taking me through, which can be read in previous posts, I finally emailed the 24-7 prayer people down there, got transportation info, and posted my requests on facebook. Whew, act of faith. Then, I got my paycheck and paid my conference fee...before I had transformation down there. And facebook was silent. My email was silent. My phone was silent. I heard nothing. Two days of patiently waiting for that message, that phone call. Nothing. I'd never been so facebook comment-barren before. It was eery. Seriously. Then, on Saturday, my family and I went over to Chris's house to finish the remodeling of an upstairs bedroom (my dad and brother had worked on it till 4:30 am the previous night, went home to sleep for three hours, and came back) because she had a house showing at 1:30 that day. Well, for the showing, she had to be gone, so she took me and we drove out to Portage (Glacier, for the non-Alaskans, about 45 mins out of town). On the drive she offered me-quite out of the blue-her alaska airline miles. I was speechless, which she commented on later saying "I've never seen you speechless before" surely referring to my incessant need to talk. The next day I went over to her house, we got on the comp and booked the flight. And guess what, (When God tells you to wait on him, and you do, this is what he does), the only flight available to Tulsa was through partner airline American and as the only one available, I got bumped up to first class all the way there and all the way back for the COACH price. That was pretty cool, it will be a first-time experience for me.
But one of the things I prayed for earlier on, was that if God got me down there, that he would seat me next to someone with whom I could share the story. in first class, there is only one person sitting next to me. I pray that it would be someone to whom I could share, minister to, and encourage. ;) I'm excited because I'm pretty sure that it will happen. Plus it's a night flight. I LOVE those.
God is sooo good. I'm always overwhelmed anymore. Even in his forgiveness, which will be my next post.
--MovingGirl
Monday, May 16, 2011
Very Happy to Say...
I am very pleased to be able to post the official fact that I am headed to Tulsa. It happened, God came through, and so many other things have happened this week. It's been a God-filled week in every which way. I'll try to remember it all.
Realtor phone call
Fish lady
Alayna wisdom teeth
Becca's baptism of the Holy Spirit
Chris' house prayed over
The Tulsa miracle
24-7 Prayer National Gathering
It's mid thirty my time so I'm headed to bed but I just didn't want to forget any of it. So happy.
I'll write more tomorrow.
Realtor phone call
Fish lady
Alayna wisdom teeth
Becca's baptism of the Holy Spirit
Chris' house prayed over
The Tulsa miracle
It's mid thirty my time so I'm headed to bed but I just didn't want to forget any of it. So happy.
I'll write more tomorrow.
--MovingGirl
Friday, May 13, 2011
Praying
I'm headed out!
Haha. No really, I am. And I'm believing God to get me where I need to go. Which is Tulsa Oklahoma the 26th-28th for the 24-7 Prayer USA National Gathering. ;D
Yep, last minute. I'm nervous and intimidated and scared. Not really about the finances, but what it will be like. I'm just a nineteen-year-old girl from Alaska. I keep worrying that I won't meet anybody or that my presence will go completely unnoticed...and the reason that worries me is because I feel like going down there I'm supposed to make contacts. And I know God has all this in his hand, but still, I remain so...fearful. I need to get over it. I need to be more bold. More Audacious. I get intimidated way to easily and I'm always borrowing stormy weather. No one can see it, though, because I keep it in for the most part. And it's like poison that eats away at me. I want to be different. I don't want this intimidation. I want to meet the people I'm supposed to meet. And be excited, outgoing, bold and confident. In Jesus. Period.
I'm, asking God that he would use this entire situation to help me gain a backbone. Because I'm truly a wimp. I'm believing that in my weakness God will be glorified. That he would be my strength. I love him so much. I love You sooo much, God!
Learning different sides of him. Different truths. It's like everyday there is something new. I'm not bored, and I'm not stressed with life right now. Even though some days things are very hard.
Below is a copy of what I'm posting on facebook. Just trusting God:
'Hello all. I'm writing a brief, short note asking for two things:
First is prayer. For several weeks now I have been praying and asking God for a word regarding whether or not I was supposed to attend 24-7 Prayer's National Gathering down in Tulsa, OK. I have been praying about attending this gathering since it was first announced, and have been given a God-birthed desire to be there. It will be a total step of faith to attend, as I am trusting God for the finances and provisions, but I have received confirmation that I am supposed to be there.
I am excited about the opportunity to be at this gathering, because I know that God is calling me there for a reason, and if there is anything that he has been teaching me, it is obedience to respond when he asks something of me...no matter how intimidating.
So I would appreciate prayer because I have about two weeks to somehow find the finances or transportation to go.
Secondly, (and this is my Luke 11-midnight-neighbor-shameless-audacity) I need the resources. Yes, I am asking all of my fellow friends and mentors and family. If God lays it on your heart, I need a way down there. I know I'm supposed to go, and God has told me that faith requires action, a step. And yes, I am intimidated, but I am also elated, because I am walking where God wants me and there is nothing more exciting.
So I need help. It could be in the way of unused air miles, etc. It's God we're talking about, but please, pray for me. I will definitely appreciate.
I can't wait to share what God does.
Love you all!'
Please keep me in prayer, specifically for strength and boldness and the realization that my Abba has it all in hand. ;D
--MovingGirl
Haha. No really, I am. And I'm believing God to get me where I need to go. Which is Tulsa Oklahoma the 26th-28th for the 24-7 Prayer USA National Gathering. ;D
Yep, last minute. I'm nervous and intimidated and scared. Not really about the finances, but what it will be like. I'm just a nineteen-year-old girl from Alaska. I keep worrying that I won't meet anybody or that my presence will go completely unnoticed...and the reason that worries me is because I feel like going down there I'm supposed to make contacts. And I know God has all this in his hand, but still, I remain so...fearful. I need to get over it. I need to be more bold. More Audacious. I get intimidated way to easily and I'm always borrowing stormy weather. No one can see it, though, because I keep it in for the most part. And it's like poison that eats away at me. I want to be different. I don't want this intimidation. I want to meet the people I'm supposed to meet. And be excited, outgoing, bold and confident. In Jesus. Period.
I'm, asking God that he would use this entire situation to help me gain a backbone. Because I'm truly a wimp. I'm believing that in my weakness God will be glorified. That he would be my strength. I love him so much. I love You sooo much, God!
Learning different sides of him. Different truths. It's like everyday there is something new. I'm not bored, and I'm not stressed with life right now. Even though some days things are very hard.
Below is a copy of what I'm posting on facebook. Just trusting God:
'Hello all. I'm writing a brief, short note asking for two things:
First is prayer. For several weeks now I have been praying and asking God for a word regarding whether or not I was supposed to attend 24-7 Prayer's National Gathering down in Tulsa, OK. I have been praying about attending this gathering since it was first announced, and have been given a God-birthed desire to be there. It will be a total step of faith to attend, as I am trusting God for the finances and provisions, but I have received confirmation that I am supposed to be there.
I am excited about the opportunity to be at this gathering, because I know that God is calling me there for a reason, and if there is anything that he has been teaching me, it is obedience to respond when he asks something of me...no matter how intimidating.
So I would appreciate prayer because I have about two weeks to somehow find the finances or transportation to go.
Secondly, (and this is my Luke 11-midnight-neighbor-shameless-audacity) I need the resources. Yes, I am asking all of my fellow friends and mentors and family. If God lays it on your heart, I need a way down there. I know I'm supposed to go, and God has told me that faith requires action, a step. And yes, I am intimidated, but I am also elated, because I am walking where God wants me and there is nothing more exciting.
So I need help. It could be in the way of unused air miles, etc. It's God we're talking about, but please, pray for me. I will definitely appreciate.
I can't wait to share what God does.
Love you all!'
Please keep me in prayer, specifically for strength and boldness and the realization that my Abba has it all in hand. ;D
--MovingGirl
Friday, May 6, 2011
Audacity
...Sublime Audacity.
God Calling's word for the day.
Basically this: the unparalleled nature of the willingness to take bold risks.
I Googled both to see the different definitions of the words. I liked them. Anyway, I then BibleGateway-ed it Guess where it shows up? (the word Audacity) In Luke 11:8. The whole section where God is talking about the neighbor asking another for bread. And because of his shameless audacity he gets it. Jesus then goes on to say "Ask and you shall receive..."
Interestingly enough (following the last post), I feel lead today to be shameless in my seeking. In my asking and my asking and my asking and my asking. I don't always feel this way, but I feel like God has been directing me toward several things that say "Do it."
Another thing is 24-7prayer's Greig wrote a blurb on David Wilkerson's life, stating at the end "The simple secret to unlocking your destiny is prayer. Is God waiting for you in a prayer room somewhere, inviting you to switch off your screens and seek his face? Is he wanting to wreck your life for good; longing to give you the ‘Go help those boys’ moment for which you were born? There really is only one way to find out!"
So I went and said, okay God, here I am, at work, can my prayer room be my heart? Can it be here, waiting on customers and sorting books that you will come and commune with me? I want to pray about this thing.
Next thing was my browsing through CAMB. I came across I Will Bring the Victory and read it. My heart smiled. It too, addressed my desire to go this gathering. I want to wait upon the Lord!
So now I am memorizing scripture, or trying, through ScriptureTyper.com, a great resource. I'm memorizing Luke 11:33-36 about The Body, a Lamp. Read it. It hit me in new ways recently.
Oh, and I got all A's this semester. Yes, even in Japanese, which if you go back and read my earlier posts, is pretty cool. That and my poetry made it into Understory (UAA's undergrad creative arts journal). It'll be coming out late summer/fall. That made my day too. I submitted a version of Brother. And another of my older, but favorite poems. I don't know which, or of both, made it in. We'll see.
Feeling abundantly blessed, even in the midst of uncertainty.
--MovingGirl
God Calling's word for the day.
Basically this: the unparalleled nature of the willingness to take bold risks.
I Googled both to see the different definitions of the words. I liked them. Anyway, I then BibleGateway-ed it Guess where it shows up? (the word Audacity) In Luke 11:8. The whole section where God is talking about the neighbor asking another for bread. And because of his shameless audacity he gets it. Jesus then goes on to say "Ask and you shall receive..."
Interestingly enough (following the last post), I feel lead today to be shameless in my seeking. In my asking and my asking and my asking and my asking. I don't always feel this way, but I feel like God has been directing me toward several things that say "Do it."
Another thing is 24-7prayer's Greig wrote a blurb on David Wilkerson's life, stating at the end "The simple secret to unlocking your destiny is prayer. Is God waiting for you in a prayer room somewhere, inviting you to switch off your screens and seek his face? Is he wanting to wreck your life for good; longing to give you the ‘Go help those boys’ moment for which you were born? There really is only one way to find out!"
So I went and said, okay God, here I am, at work, can my prayer room be my heart? Can it be here, waiting on customers and sorting books that you will come and commune with me? I want to pray about this thing.
Next thing was my browsing through CAMB. I came across I Will Bring the Victory and read it. My heart smiled. It too, addressed my desire to go this gathering. I want to wait upon the Lord!
So now I am memorizing scripture, or trying, through ScriptureTyper.com, a great resource. I'm memorizing Luke 11:33-36 about The Body, a Lamp. Read it. It hit me in new ways recently.
Oh, and I got all A's this semester. Yes, even in Japanese, which if you go back and read my earlier posts, is pretty cool. That and my poetry made it into Understory (UAA's undergrad creative arts journal). It'll be coming out late summer/fall. That made my day too. I submitted a version of Brother. And another of my older, but favorite poems. I don't know which, or of both, made it in. We'll see.
Feeling abundantly blessed, even in the midst of uncertainty.
--MovingGirl
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
In Response
...In response to my questioning my right to ask...namely, "I don't even feel like I can ask for it" God supplied me with an answer.
First of all, I got an A in Japanese, in which I struggled my butt through, hard tests, difficult chapters, new vocab, writing, and tons of memorization. Not to mention grammar. I got an A. And I know it is because God was helping me, supplying me with strength and endurance and wisdom. It shows me that it pays off. That there are rewards worth it in the end. And that anything is possible with God. (Learning it all over again.)
So on that note, I went to bed, high on a quadshot mocha, and talked to God. I read some scripture, I sang. And then I opened my CAMB when I felt a peace about it.
He took me to the I Anticipate Thy Dependence on Me part and I read it. Here is a little of what it said:
"Do not wait to feel ore worthy, for no man is worthy of My Blessings. My Grace bypasses all thy shortcomings, and I give to My children because they ask of Me and because I love them, and I do not love one more than another. I give most liberally to those who ask the most of Me. For I love to have thee depend on Me. This is why the Spirit within thee crieth 'Abba--Father.' As thy father I anticipate thy dependence upon Me.
...Think not in thine heart that since I know all about thee, thou needest not tell Me. It is true that I know, but ye need to tell Me so that in the telling ye may experience the release of an open heart and the fellowship of a Friend.
For as ye open your heart to Me, I will come to thee. As you speak to Me, I will speak to you. As you reveal thyself to Me, I will reveal Myself to you. This is a law of life. There must be action to bring reaction. There must be a question to ring an answer. There must be an expression of love and confidence on the part of one person to arouse a corresponding response in another person.
Never presume upon My presence. Never assume that knowing thy need, I will automatically supply. Ask, and it shall be given. Call, upon Me, and I will answer thee. Tell Me that you love me, and I will make thy heart to know in a very real way My love for thee and My nearness, and thou shalt never feel alone." (Come Away My Beloved, Frances J. Roberts).
This is only a couple parts of the entire message in CAMB, but this was what he told me. So I asked, and I'm waiting. I asked for His will, and for His favor. But I expressed my desire to go. I told Him the deep longing of my heart. Even though I believe He put it there, I told Him. I love Him. I really do. I love Him so much.
I'm very content and satisfied right now regardless.
--MovingGirl
P.S. Thanks to my FirePlace friends for praying for me. I feel more at peace. Love you all!
First of all, I got an A in Japanese, in which I struggled my butt through, hard tests, difficult chapters, new vocab, writing, and tons of memorization. Not to mention grammar. I got an A. And I know it is because God was helping me, supplying me with strength and endurance and wisdom. It shows me that it pays off. That there are rewards worth it in the end. And that anything is possible with God. (Learning it all over again.)
So on that note, I went to bed, high on a quadshot mocha, and talked to God. I read some scripture, I sang. And then I opened my CAMB when I felt a peace about it.
He took me to the I Anticipate Thy Dependence on Me part and I read it. Here is a little of what it said:
"Do not wait to feel ore worthy, for no man is worthy of My Blessings. My Grace bypasses all thy shortcomings, and I give to My children because they ask of Me and because I love them, and I do not love one more than another. I give most liberally to those who ask the most of Me. For I love to have thee depend on Me. This is why the Spirit within thee crieth 'Abba--Father.' As thy father I anticipate thy dependence upon Me.
...Think not in thine heart that since I know all about thee, thou needest not tell Me. It is true that I know, but ye need to tell Me so that in the telling ye may experience the release of an open heart and the fellowship of a Friend.
For as ye open your heart to Me, I will come to thee. As you speak to Me, I will speak to you. As you reveal thyself to Me, I will reveal Myself to you. This is a law of life. There must be action to bring reaction. There must be a question to ring an answer. There must be an expression of love and confidence on the part of one person to arouse a corresponding response in another person.
Never presume upon My presence. Never assume that knowing thy need, I will automatically supply. Ask, and it shall be given. Call, upon Me, and I will answer thee. Tell Me that you love me, and I will make thy heart to know in a very real way My love for thee and My nearness, and thou shalt never feel alone." (Come Away My Beloved, Frances J. Roberts).
This is only a couple parts of the entire message in CAMB, but this was what he told me. So I asked, and I'm waiting. I asked for His will, and for His favor. But I expressed my desire to go. I told Him the deep longing of my heart. Even though I believe He put it there, I told Him. I love Him. I really do. I love Him so much.
I'm very content and satisfied right now regardless.
--MovingGirl
P.S. Thanks to my FirePlace friends for praying for me. I feel more at peace. Love you all!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Inventory
So it's May 3. One, two, three...four days after the end. My brother finally made first dan. I finally finished school. Our house is finally on the "market". (We have a giant fsbo sign out front). I have two A's as of two minutes ago...still waiting on JPN. I have to get my car ready to sell. Have to clean up my laptop and thumbdrive to get them ready for the trip. Gotta get our music onto cds/tds since we all decided iTunes is a failure and needs to die. (On our computer anyway.) Working because somewhere between February and April my savings disappeared. Oh yeah, gas prices went up, I had to go shopping, and...food? Yeah, coffee here, coffee there, Village Inn every friday. Killing my resources. Can't do it anymore.
Starting the 'workout' days now that I'm free of school. It's so much easier to be motivated when you don't have ten hours of homework or a final presentation hanging over your head. That and sunlight. Though I now can't sleep, no blackout blinds. Had to get new, pretty ones for selling the house.
My cat is gone, (Felis). I'll miss her. Saw a run-over dog or cat, couldn't tell, on Lake Otis the other day. Made me grossed out and sad. I wanted to go home and hug Felis. But all we have is Shadow, and he lets you hug him when he wants out...which he didn't.
Our house isn't really ours anymore, we feel like we're renting or something. It's just not home. Displaced is the best word for it all.
I want to get on the road. I want to be there already looking for a house, hanging out with my cousin Brittany and her sweet baby. We all do. Want to go, that is. We. Are. Just. Waiting. For. The. House. To. Sell.
My dad is already looking at resumes for potential replacements. Weird that he has to interview his own replacement, but I guess he has to train them too.
I'm looking at houses seriously now, knowing that we could be down there in a month and a half. I'm also looking at cars. The prices went up as soon as May hit. Ouch.
At least gas isn't $4.40 down there.
With my best friend engaged, I'm now feeling a switch of gears. Things are finally happening. FirePlace is out of my hands more or less, which is good.
My hair is getting longer, past the shoulders down a good four or five inches. Just need to lose some weight. Maybe planting my orchard and garden will help me do that.
Even work feels temporary. And the seagulls are out in abundance. I'll miss the gulls. They remind you that the ocean is just...right there.
Buds are on almost all the trees now, though they are very slow in growing into anything else, no blooms, no leaves yet. But they're starting. It's warmer. Lighter.
Spiritually, I'm a little lost. I feel so...empty almost, now that I'm out of this storm. Confused, and feeling a bit lonely. (Displaced...duh, but shhh...I haven't caught on yet.) Why? Probably because I'm hesitating entering the field. I don't know.
And there is somewhere I want to be. May 26th-28th..
But I have no money. No transportation. And no contacts that I know of. Tulsa, OK. It's the National 24-7 Prayer gathering. My heart jumps every time I hear it. But I am so dang TIMID! It's easier for me to say...it's okay, these types of meetings happen all the time, it's already May 3, how are you going to get there? Who are you going to stay with, or how will you get from the airport to the meeting, etc. You can't even afford one plane ticket, let alone two for someone to go with you (my sister). And how in the world would you even afford the conference fees? You don't know anyone, you'd have to ask for someone to volunteer their time to help you out...and you have no contacts. They might not even want, let alone care about you being there. Why would they go out of their way to help you, a 19-year-old girl from Alaska with nothing but a big vision?
And while these thoughts fly through my head I know they are lies. But why is it that I can trust God to sell our house, move us down to KY/TN, find my dad a job, and situate us. But I have the hardest time seeing him getting me plus one down to Tulsa for this gathering. Why??? I don't know. Lack of faith. I guess I feel selfish. I really don't even feel I can ask him for it. Because I want to walk in His will. I guess I'm a little scared too. Because last time I asked and prayed for something with all my heart, something I knew was God's will, it didn't happen. My prayers were sincere and I believe in God's will (he said I was too fancy) but apart from that, the decision was left up to the person I was praying for. And I'm okay with it. But it's still sore a bit. Just a reality. Truth is it feels like I've gotten confirmation. But I just don't know how to ask. Makes me want to cry. I'm going to start crying. Great.
I just feel the NEED to be there. To BE there. Ugh. My faith is wimpy.
My heart is burdened. And I know that the Bible is where I'll find my answers, so that's where 'm headed. I'll just get it over and done with. Or something like that. Too many reasons to go, though. Too many reasons to miss it. God has placed this fire in my heart. FIRE. And I feel called.
--MovingGirl
Starting the 'workout' days now that I'm free of school. It's so much easier to be motivated when you don't have ten hours of homework or a final presentation hanging over your head. That and sunlight. Though I now can't sleep, no blackout blinds. Had to get new, pretty ones for selling the house.
My cat is gone, (Felis). I'll miss her. Saw a run-over dog or cat, couldn't tell, on Lake Otis the other day. Made me grossed out and sad. I wanted to go home and hug Felis. But all we have is Shadow, and he lets you hug him when he wants out...which he didn't.
Our house isn't really ours anymore, we feel like we're renting or something. It's just not home. Displaced is the best word for it all.
I want to get on the road. I want to be there already looking for a house, hanging out with my cousin Brittany and her sweet baby. We all do. Want to go, that is. We. Are. Just. Waiting. For. The. House. To. Sell.
My dad is already looking at resumes for potential replacements. Weird that he has to interview his own replacement, but I guess he has to train them too.
I'm looking at houses seriously now, knowing that we could be down there in a month and a half. I'm also looking at cars. The prices went up as soon as May hit. Ouch.
At least gas isn't $4.40 down there.
With my best friend engaged, I'm now feeling a switch of gears. Things are finally happening. FirePlace is out of my hands more or less, which is good.
My hair is getting longer, past the shoulders down a good four or five inches. Just need to lose some weight. Maybe planting my orchard and garden will help me do that.
Even work feels temporary. And the seagulls are out in abundance. I'll miss the gulls. They remind you that the ocean is just...right there.
Buds are on almost all the trees now, though they are very slow in growing into anything else, no blooms, no leaves yet. But they're starting. It's warmer. Lighter.
Spiritually, I'm a little lost. I feel so...empty almost, now that I'm out of this storm. Confused, and feeling a bit lonely. (Displaced...duh, but shhh...I haven't caught on yet.) Why? Probably because I'm hesitating entering the field. I don't know.
And there is somewhere I want to be. May 26th-28th..
But I have no money. No transportation. And no contacts that I know of. Tulsa, OK. It's the National 24-7 Prayer gathering. My heart jumps every time I hear it. But I am so dang TIMID! It's easier for me to say...it's okay, these types of meetings happen all the time, it's already May 3, how are you going to get there? Who are you going to stay with, or how will you get from the airport to the meeting, etc. You can't even afford one plane ticket, let alone two for someone to go with you (my sister). And how in the world would you even afford the conference fees? You don't know anyone, you'd have to ask for someone to volunteer their time to help you out...and you have no contacts. They might not even want, let alone care about you being there. Why would they go out of their way to help you, a 19-year-old girl from Alaska with nothing but a big vision?
And while these thoughts fly through my head I know they are lies. But why is it that I can trust God to sell our house, move us down to KY/TN, find my dad a job, and situate us. But I have the hardest time seeing him getting me plus one down to Tulsa for this gathering. Why??? I don't know. Lack of faith. I guess I feel selfish. I really don't even feel I can ask him for it. Because I want to walk in His will. I guess I'm a little scared too. Because last time I asked and prayed for something with all my heart, something I knew was God's will, it didn't happen. My prayers were sincere and I believe in God's will (he said I was too fancy) but apart from that, the decision was left up to the person I was praying for. And I'm okay with it. But it's still sore a bit. Just a reality. Truth is it feels like I've gotten confirmation. But I just don't know how to ask. Makes me want to cry. I'm going to start crying. Great.
I just feel the NEED to be there. To BE there. Ugh. My faith is wimpy.
My heart is burdened. And I know that the Bible is where I'll find my answers, so that's where 'm headed. I'll just get it over and done with. Or something like that. Too many reasons to go, though. Too many reasons to miss it. God has placed this fire in my heart. FIRE. And I feel called.
--MovingGirl
Rings: My second hobby
http://applesofgold.com/HGO-OV28VMW.html
I finally found a website that offers jewelry I like. I've always had a unique taste, and absolutely love the vintage look. Like this ring. LOVING it. Now all I need is a fiance. :)
They are a Christian company, too. Makes me happy. Based out of California, though. I pray that God will not only protect them in all that is coming, but that he would bless them for their business practices. It looks like they follow Kingdom principles.
The Field
I can't really hear.
I feel deaf because of the sudden silence.
I feel very light, and almost nauseous
from the lifting of the weight
of the storm.
I'm a little blinded from the light,
yes, the sun is shining through,
dispersing clouds
and making it hard to see.
I'm confused. Very.
I feel lost.
Didn't think it would be like this.
And now I feel exposed.
Dripping wet, hair in knots
my feet sore, bruised and cut,
I stand here, staring at the field,
at the milk and honey
waving to me from the grasses
and am scared.
To step forward. To enter into it.
This is so sudden.
So bright and fresh and beautiful.
And in the middle, a shape.
I notice the tent, now.
Its flaps are pulled open, inviting
to the wanderer, weary and exhausted.
I stare at it. I stare at it some more.
It's in the middle of the field,
surrounded by golden flowers
and green, bright stalks of various grasses.
It's intimidating.
I turn my head, glance back behind me.
I see trees, a forest.
Not a single leaf out of place,
not a single, frightening shadow.
The only reason I know anything
has happened is because the trees
still drip water. But only as if
from a good rain. Perhaps it was.
I shiver. I'm still standing in the shade.
The warmth of the sun
is still out of my reach,
several footsteps away.
And suddenly, I collapse.
My legs giving way
right at the edge of the field.
Not even a gust of wind at my back.
I start to sob in anguish.
Not even understanding why
these feelings are attacking me.
I sob until I feel a slight breeze
and jerk in reaction. Movement.
I push myself up onto hands and knees.
I wipe my face, shaking.
Shivering.
Opening my tired eyes
I see the shadow falling over me.
But no fear is brought with it.
Instead, it gives respite
from the bright light
at its back.
The form moves, kneels, in front of me.
I watch wearily as He bends down
places hands on my shoulders
and smiles, tenderly, as if He understands
how raw I truly am.
Tears brim in my eyes, for I know this:
I've been waiting and longing for it,
this moment,
where He would greet me
and whisper to me,
His arms surrounding,
"My Beloved, Mariah, you've made it."
My head drops,
and I enjoy the words
even knowing I've only gotten through
because He helped me the whole way.
"Mariah. This is Abelmeholah."
My heart leaps at joy with his words,
knowing that He is sincere.
I smile.
My grin washes away the fear
the insecurity, the confusion.
He smiles.
"Shall we go?"
I nod, and with His help, get to my feet.
With His hand in mine,
I take those first steps.
The grass soft to my feet
the sun a gentle warmth
that soaks into my skin
all the way to my soul.
It is the light of His smile.
As I walk, I find my legs getting stronger
their strength being renewed
and I look to my companion.
He looks to the sky and nods
"It is the re-energizing power of my presence."
"But aren't you always near me?"
"Yes, but you are now with me."
My heart leaps.
Even without fully understanding,
I joy in His presence.
As we near the tent, I feel a sudden reluctance
to go inside.
He understands, and gestures for me to enter.
I go in, expecting the darkness
of the shadows to overwhelm me.
But instead, the warmth of the sun remains.
I look at the sheepskin coverings
that lay scattered about the floor.
I look down at myself.
Over at my companion.
He holds a towel and bar of soap.
I shiver and tears start to fall.
Now I must choose.
To go and receive them...
(I can't write the rest right now, I know what happens next, but it is too tender, too fresh.)
--MovingGirl
I feel deaf because of the sudden silence.
I feel very light, and almost nauseous
from the lifting of the weight
of the storm.
I'm a little blinded from the light,
yes, the sun is shining through,
dispersing clouds
and making it hard to see.
I'm confused. Very.
I feel lost.
Didn't think it would be like this.
And now I feel exposed.
Dripping wet, hair in knots
my feet sore, bruised and cut,
I stand here, staring at the field,
at the milk and honey
waving to me from the grasses
and am scared.
To step forward. To enter into it.
This is so sudden.
So bright and fresh and beautiful.
And in the middle, a shape.
I notice the tent, now.
Its flaps are pulled open, inviting
to the wanderer, weary and exhausted.
I stare at it. I stare at it some more.
It's in the middle of the field,
surrounded by golden flowers
and green, bright stalks of various grasses.
It's intimidating.
I turn my head, glance back behind me.
I see trees, a forest.
Not a single leaf out of place,
not a single, frightening shadow.
The only reason I know anything
has happened is because the trees
still drip water. But only as if
from a good rain. Perhaps it was.
I shiver. I'm still standing in the shade.
The warmth of the sun
is still out of my reach,
several footsteps away.
And suddenly, I collapse.
My legs giving way
right at the edge of the field.
Not even a gust of wind at my back.
I start to sob in anguish.
Not even understanding why
these feelings are attacking me.
I sob until I feel a slight breeze
and jerk in reaction. Movement.
I push myself up onto hands and knees.
I wipe my face, shaking.
Shivering.
Opening my tired eyes
I see the shadow falling over me.
But no fear is brought with it.
Instead, it gives respite
from the bright light
at its back.
The form moves, kneels, in front of me.
I watch wearily as He bends down
places hands on my shoulders
and smiles, tenderly, as if He understands
how raw I truly am.
Tears brim in my eyes, for I know this:
I've been waiting and longing for it,
this moment,
where He would greet me
and whisper to me,
His arms surrounding,
"My Beloved, Mariah, you've made it."
My head drops,
and I enjoy the words
even knowing I've only gotten through
because He helped me the whole way.
"Mariah. This is Abelmeholah."
My heart leaps at joy with his words,
knowing that He is sincere.
I smile.
My grin washes away the fear
the insecurity, the confusion.
He smiles.
"Shall we go?"
I nod, and with His help, get to my feet.
With His hand in mine,
I take those first steps.
The grass soft to my feet
the sun a gentle warmth
that soaks into my skin
all the way to my soul.
It is the light of His smile.
As I walk, I find my legs getting stronger
their strength being renewed
and I look to my companion.
He looks to the sky and nods
"It is the re-energizing power of my presence."
"But aren't you always near me?"
"Yes, but you are now with me."
My heart leaps.
Even without fully understanding,
I joy in His presence.
As we near the tent, I feel a sudden reluctance
to go inside.
He understands, and gestures for me to enter.
I go in, expecting the darkness
of the shadows to overwhelm me.
But instead, the warmth of the sun remains.
I look at the sheepskin coverings
that lay scattered about the floor.
I look down at myself.
Over at my companion.
He holds a towel and bar of soap.
I shiver and tears start to fall.
Now I must choose.
To go and receive them...
(I can't write the rest right now, I know what happens next, but it is too tender, too fresh.)
--MovingGirl
Monday, May 2, 2011
Prelude...
Nineteen years...
three years of deep darkness
three months of endurance
one day of transformation
and a lifetime to walk in it.
Three years steeped in the deep
dark, a lie of my own making.
I chose it and I lived it.
I regret it, but only so much.
Because I have a testimony
I hope to share with others
who have gone as far
as me.
God's Grace and Mercy
were my silent, enduring companions,
through many dark nights and shadowed days.
As I walked in a lie.
If not for His love, my life
would not be as it is today.
I now walk in freedom
I haven't experienced
since I was five.
Three years in the dark.
To be broken free, chains sundered
by my God, my Abba, who never
let me go.
He rescued me. He really did.
Set me free from the apathy
of the darkness I was a part of.
Set me free to experience truth.
To experience Him.
Now, nearly a year after my deliverance
I am awed
by the length
of the distance
He has walked with me.
And his gift, to set me apart
from my darkness
and allow me
to experience depths
of Light
that I never knew existed.
I think sometimes,
it is the degree to which you
have experienced the darkness
that you can taste and have the light.
At first. But then He lets you grow
even farther.
I'm humbled and broken
by the weight of his love.
Now, three months of endurance.
And I'm free of one storm. A first
in a way. That I can recognize as such.
Now that I've completed the endurance
training, I can move on to the steps.
The skills rather than just strength.
Three months of endurance. To show me
first, His love. Second, His grace. Third,
His mercy.
As He lead me to the steps of forgiveness.
As I discovered the bitterness of the past
dissolving in the depths of his love.
As He broke down walls in my heart.
As He taught me truths that will last
for all the ages to come.
As He granted me the privilege
of drawing nearer to Him.
My heart is full.
Of Jesus, my Jesus.
--MovingGirl
three years of deep darkness
three months of endurance
one day of transformation
and a lifetime to walk in it.
Three years steeped in the deep
dark, a lie of my own making.
I chose it and I lived it.
I regret it, but only so much.
Because I have a testimony
I hope to share with others
who have gone as far
as me.
God's Grace and Mercy
were my silent, enduring companions,
through many dark nights and shadowed days.
As I walked in a lie.
If not for His love, my life
would not be as it is today.
I now walk in freedom
I haven't experienced
since I was five.
Three years in the dark.
To be broken free, chains sundered
by my God, my Abba, who never
let me go.
He rescued me. He really did.
Set me free from the apathy
of the darkness I was a part of.
Set me free to experience truth.
To experience Him.
Now, nearly a year after my deliverance
I am awed
by the length
of the distance
He has walked with me.
And his gift, to set me apart
from my darkness
and allow me
to experience depths
of Light
that I never knew existed.
I think sometimes,
it is the degree to which you
have experienced the darkness
that you can taste and have the light.
At first. But then He lets you grow
even farther.
I'm humbled and broken
by the weight of his love.
Now, three months of endurance.
And I'm free of one storm. A first
in a way. That I can recognize as such.
Now that I've completed the endurance
training, I can move on to the steps.
The skills rather than just strength.
Three months of endurance. To show me
first, His love. Second, His grace. Third,
His mercy.
As He lead me to the steps of forgiveness.
As I discovered the bitterness of the past
dissolving in the depths of his love.
As He broke down walls in my heart.
As He taught me truths that will last
for all the ages to come.
As He granted me the privilege
of drawing nearer to Him.
My heart is full.
Of Jesus, my Jesus.
--MovingGirl
Engagement
The first engagement is DaughteroftheMostHigh's to her boyfriend of, what...three years? Exciting. I am so excited for the both of them and can't wait till Octoberish when they plan on having their wedding. ;D Deserves an emoticon.
Second engagement...said boyfriend's to a more 'engaged' role in FirePlace. Well, D's too. I'm officially making myself a resource for them now as my family and I get closer to the move. God's taken me through a lot the past three months, and now as the time for me leaving nears, he's been helping me to let go (aka prying my fingers away) of many things, FP one of them. It's hard, it is a vision given me, but I have to realize that it is NOT mine. And it can't be realized unless I allow God to do what He wants. Which I knew in my head, but he has been allowing me to know in my heart. So D and fiance are stepping forward to help spearhead FP. Can't wait to see how God uses them to impact this generation.
Third engagement is that of me and dance lessons. Lol. I'll write out a new 'poem' for that one. But what God has shown me, in part, is that now as I enter the field, Abelmeholah, that it isn't just a place of rest--though I do have that briefly and when needed--it is, in fact, like a dance studio. So now that he has spent three months strengthening my legs and teaching me pure endurance...I get to learn the actual steps. Imagine my reaction when he says "It shall be in vain if ye anticipate resting in a comfortable place. Lo, Zion is already filled with those who are at ease. No, ye shall find thyself put in a place of training and discipline, so that when the moments of crisis come ye shall not become faint-hearted, and ye shall not be the victim of unwonted fear." (Come Away My Beloved Frances J. Roberts, 1973). No, actually my first one was not one of unadulterated joy...I hope you hear my sarcasm. I was pouty. Not necessarily upset, just a little perturbed. Like a kid with their ice cream taken away. Yeah, two-year-old style. Regardless, I was saddened a little.
So my meadow of milk and honey is beautiful and all, but it's the courtyard of training, where I learn to use my weapons...aka, learn the steps of the dance, and the different moves. Pretty, but not just for comfort.
Battle-ready soldiers will come to my field to teach me how to dance. And I will not be safe from all attacks. God will allow them simply so that I can learn to dance. How else but through hand-on experience?
I've already had the wonderful privilege of being hit upside the head because my nose was raised to the sky. Got an uppercut that knocked me back a bit. Fun stuff. But God's grace is that he gives me time, resources, and patience in my learning how to respond(or in this case, NOT) to the attack. I had to get on my knees. Not stand up again. It's amazing how vulnerable you feel down there. And yet I think it is probably the most secure and safe position to be in.
It hurt, yes, and it hurt more because it came from a fellow member of the body. But the reality is that God wants to teach me this: I can see these things coming before they happen if I'm not A.) lifting my nose in the air and closing my eyes in a gesture of pride, or B.) looking at myself in any self-centered way. I also am learning that falling to your knees as a reaction to the punch coming can prevent the impact. They miss. Sigh.
Dance moves. Dance moves. That is going to be my repeated line for a while. Reminds me that this is all for a reason.
God is cool, though, and I am only beginning to understand the blessing and grace he has given me in these training periods.
Learning to dance, getting beat up, and loving the lessons...ahem.
--MovingGirl
Second engagement...said boyfriend's to a more 'engaged' role in FirePlace. Well, D's too. I'm officially making myself a resource for them now as my family and I get closer to the move. God's taken me through a lot the past three months, and now as the time for me leaving nears, he's been helping me to let go (aka prying my fingers away) of many things, FP one of them. It's hard, it is a vision given me, but I have to realize that it is NOT mine. And it can't be realized unless I allow God to do what He wants. Which I knew in my head, but he has been allowing me to know in my heart. So D and fiance are stepping forward to help spearhead FP. Can't wait to see how God uses them to impact this generation.
Third engagement is that of me and dance lessons. Lol. I'll write out a new 'poem' for that one. But what God has shown me, in part, is that now as I enter the field, Abelmeholah, that it isn't just a place of rest--though I do have that briefly and when needed--it is, in fact, like a dance studio. So now that he has spent three months strengthening my legs and teaching me pure endurance...I get to learn the actual steps. Imagine my reaction when he says "It shall be in vain if ye anticipate resting in a comfortable place. Lo, Zion is already filled with those who are at ease. No, ye shall find thyself put in a place of training and discipline, so that when the moments of crisis come ye shall not become faint-hearted, and ye shall not be the victim of unwonted fear." (Come Away My Beloved Frances J. Roberts, 1973). No, actually my first one was not one of unadulterated joy...I hope you hear my sarcasm. I was pouty. Not necessarily upset, just a little perturbed. Like a kid with their ice cream taken away. Yeah, two-year-old style. Regardless, I was saddened a little.
So my meadow of milk and honey is beautiful and all, but it's the courtyard of training, where I learn to use my weapons...aka, learn the steps of the dance, and the different moves. Pretty, but not just for comfort.
Battle-ready soldiers will come to my field to teach me how to dance. And I will not be safe from all attacks. God will allow them simply so that I can learn to dance. How else but through hand-on experience?
I've already had the wonderful privilege of being hit upside the head because my nose was raised to the sky. Got an uppercut that knocked me back a bit. Fun stuff. But God's grace is that he gives me time, resources, and patience in my learning how to respond(or in this case, NOT) to the attack. I had to get on my knees. Not stand up again. It's amazing how vulnerable you feel down there. And yet I think it is probably the most secure and safe position to be in.
It hurt, yes, and it hurt more because it came from a fellow member of the body. But the reality is that God wants to teach me this: I can see these things coming before they happen if I'm not A.) lifting my nose in the air and closing my eyes in a gesture of pride, or B.) looking at myself in any self-centered way. I also am learning that falling to your knees as a reaction to the punch coming can prevent the impact. They miss. Sigh.
Dance moves. Dance moves. That is going to be my repeated line for a while. Reminds me that this is all for a reason.
God is cool, though, and I am only beginning to understand the blessing and grace he has given me in these training periods.
Learning to dance, getting beat up, and loving the lessons...ahem.
--MovingGirl
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