Prelude...

Nineteen years...
three years of deep darkness
three months of endurance
one day of transformation
and a lifetime to walk in it.
Three years steeped in the deep
dark, a lie of my own making.
I chose it and I lived it.
I regret it, but only so much.
Because I have a testimony
I hope to share with others
who have gone as far
as me.
God's Grace and Mercy
were my silent, enduring companions,
through many dark nights and shadowed days.
As I walked in a lie.
If not for His love, my life
would not be as it is today.
I now walk in freedom
I haven't experienced
since I was five.
Three years in the dark.
To be broken free, chains sundered
by my God, my Abba, who never
let me go.
He rescued me. He really did.
Set me free from the apathy
of the darkness I was a part of.
Set me free to experience truth.
To experience Him.
Now, nearly a year after my deliverance
I am awed
by the length
of the distance
He has walked with me.
And his gift, to set me apart
from my darkness
and allow me
to experience depths
of Light
that I never knew existed.
I think sometimes,
it is the degree to which you
have experienced the darkness
that you can taste and have the light.
At first. But then He lets you grow
even farther.
I'm humbled and broken
by the weight of his love.
Now, three months of endurance.
And I'm free of one storm. A first
in a way. That I can recognize as such.
Now that I've completed the endurance
training, I can move on to the steps.
The skills rather than just strength.
Three months of endurance. To show me
first, His love. Second, His grace. Third,
His mercy.
As He lead me to the steps of forgiveness.
As I discovered the bitterness of the past
dissolving in the depths of his love.
As He broke down walls in my heart.
As He taught me truths that will last
for all the ages to come.
As He granted me the privilege
of drawing nearer to Him.
My heart is full.
Of Jesus, my Jesus.

--MovingGirl