This is our last day here at our house. Had my last shower here...it's interesting what you start thinking about. And there is a lot of stuff here at our house still. I don't know where we are going to put it all. We mint have to ship some stuff down to Seattle to wait for us and the camper. I don't know what else we'll do...
I'll miss it but I a. So ready to go.
--MovingGirl
Friday, July 22, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Goodness/Glory
God is amazing. Just thought I'd say that. Lately there have been heavy things weighing on my spirit and while they a good and in the right time, I miss the easiness of happiness. So here it goes. I'm glad that we have a God who keeps his promises, who is the same yesterday today and forever. Finding out more about him doesn't mean he's changed, it just means I'm discovering more of his character. He is a big God. I'm beginning to understand just how much I do not understand about him. But I do know this: he loves me. And I thank you, Father, for sending us your Son.
Love you Abba!
--MovingGirl
Love you Abba!
--MovingGirl
Saying Goodbye
Already, I'm preparing myself for the goodbyes. Yesterday was the first. Said goodbye to a work-buddy of the past two years and was surprised by it. For some reason I hadn't processed the fact that it was our last day working together. Goodbye was awkward because I hadn't even thought about it.
Today is my last day of work. On call if needed after this...but.
Now I have to get everything ready. Have to get my car ready to sell. Have to pack up everything that we're taking. Find a way to get rid of the rest.
I am having a hard time deciding what I want to take with me, and what I can leave packed for the trip...the books, though, I don't have any clue as to what to take and what to ship. Shipped books won't be seen again until we get a place to live. So I have to decide carefully. I'm going to ask God for wisdom.
Today is my last day of work. On call if needed after this...but.
Now I have to get everything ready. Have to get my car ready to sell. Have to pack up everything that we're taking. Find a way to get rid of the rest.
I am having a hard time deciding what I want to take with me, and what I can leave packed for the trip...the books, though, I don't have any clue as to what to take and what to ship. Shipped books won't be seen again until we get a place to live. So I have to decide carefully. I'm going to ask God for wisdom.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
To Live Life to the Fullest
Only a step away from the great unknown
how fragile and simple are our bodies.
Our body and our soul and our spirit
a trinity.
Do we ever think beyond terms
of physical, of science, of modern
theology and philosophy?
Even our great theological
arguments
are based entirely on a
plane of existence
that we think of as merely
imaginative.
What is it that we exist in?
God is the Lamb
the sacrifice for our sins
he died
and rose again
and is today
with us.
He won.
God is the Lion
the Just King
whose scepter is righteousness
and whose eyes are fire
whose face cannot be seen
for its glory
that is like
a sunrise.
The body can be tortured.
Destroyed.
But the soul
is what counts.
Where will your soul go?
To the pit of fire
or the glorious throne room?
The Gospel is Jesus Christ.
We share Jesus with each other.
But what are we willing to take?
Torture
ridicule
abandonment
loss
pain...
for Him?
It is easy to share him with others.
It's receiving the cross daily
that means death
to self
and it is not easy.
Am I willing to accept
the cross?
That work of Jesus in my life
to cleanse
purify
and own
my life?
What am I willing to give
for Him?
Works do not earn us his love
and how grateful I am.
But what is my love worth?
The words of my mouth
or the deeds of my heart?
I want to surrender
to my Jesus
fully
wholly.
Maybe that is why
we all find
something else to serve.
Because we are not
serving our Lord and Master
so our hearts long for that
unity and devotion
to someone
who will love
and take care of us.
Jesus Christ.
It is easy to say
that one could lay down
their life.
But it is harder to say
that you could
accept the loss
of the lives
of the ones you love
after surrendering them
to God.
It's a war.
And war is deadly.
God is good,
and the weapons of our warfare
are not carnal in nature
so we fight with Wisdom
of God and His strength
because we would
fail otherwise.
This war is deadly
and it is real.
To be warrior means
Nehemiah and the wall
working with a tool in one hand
and holding a weapon
in the other
always ready to fight
amidst the daily toil
of building.
Being a watchman by night
or by day
never letting down your guard
sleeping in your armour
and working in unity
with the brothers and sisters.
It means sometimes
sacrificing sleep
and accepting God's rest.
It means sometimes
standing in the gap
for others
and loving them
as yourself.
A complete laying down
of Will
and letting God
be totally
Lord and Master
over one's life.
Can I surrender
my all to Him
letting God
direct my life
not an actor
but a warrior
a participator
in all of God's
goodness
and love
in the midst
of a world
not my own?
--MovingGirl
how fragile and simple are our bodies.
Our body and our soul and our spirit
a trinity.
Do we ever think beyond terms
of physical, of science, of modern
theology and philosophy?
Even our great theological
arguments
are based entirely on a
plane of existence
that we think of as merely
imaginative.
What is it that we exist in?
God is the Lamb
the sacrifice for our sins
he died
and rose again
and is today
with us.
He won.
God is the Lion
the Just King
whose scepter is righteousness
and whose eyes are fire
whose face cannot be seen
for its glory
that is like
a sunrise.
The body can be tortured.
Destroyed.
But the soul
is what counts.
Where will your soul go?
To the pit of fire
or the glorious throne room?
The Gospel is Jesus Christ.
We share Jesus with each other.
But what are we willing to take?
Torture
ridicule
abandonment
loss
pain...
for Him?
It is easy to share him with others.
It's receiving the cross daily
that means death
to self
and it is not easy.
Am I willing to accept
the cross?
That work of Jesus in my life
to cleanse
purify
and own
my life?
What am I willing to give
for Him?
Works do not earn us his love
and how grateful I am.
But what is my love worth?
The words of my mouth
or the deeds of my heart?
I want to surrender
to my Jesus
fully
wholly.
Maybe that is why
we all find
something else to serve.
Because we are not
serving our Lord and Master
so our hearts long for that
unity and devotion
to someone
who will love
and take care of us.
Jesus Christ.
It is easy to say
that one could lay down
their life.
But it is harder to say
that you could
accept the loss
of the lives
of the ones you love
after surrendering them
to God.
It's a war.
And war is deadly.
God is good,
and the weapons of our warfare
are not carnal in nature
so we fight with Wisdom
of God and His strength
because we would
fail otherwise.
This war is deadly
and it is real.
To be warrior means
Nehemiah and the wall
working with a tool in one hand
and holding a weapon
in the other
always ready to fight
amidst the daily toil
of building.
Being a watchman by night
or by day
never letting down your guard
sleeping in your armour
and working in unity
with the brothers and sisters.
It means sometimes
sacrificing sleep
and accepting God's rest.
It means sometimes
standing in the gap
for others
and loving them
as yourself.
A complete laying down
of Will
and letting God
be totally
Lord and Master
over one's life.
Can I surrender
my all to Him
letting God
direct my life
not an actor
but a warrior
a participator
in all of God's
goodness
and love
in the midst
of a world
not my own?
--MovingGirl
Commitment
What are we doing?
What is our goal here on earth?
Are we driven by a purpose?
Are our hearts totally on fire for our Master and Lord Jesus Christ?
Are we committed to the point where nothing else matters but God?
I've been challenged. And I'm scared of myself because I know I can't trust myself.
So I purely have to trust the Lord. To teach me, to guide me, to protect me as he will, to be the loving Father, to be the Just King...
I have to start putting on my armour every day. To start memorizing scripture and getting it in my heart. I may never have the experiences with the darkness that I've read about, but in my day to day activities they are needed as well. I can't trust myself to be intelligent enough. So I rely upon God for my wisdom and his humbling. Because pride is something I struggle with.
Other people have doubts about whether or not I could ever be that committed to God. I do too. But the truth is I could never do anything without God's strength and his help. If he ever asks something like this from me, I know that he would give me what I needed to do it. Through the power of Jesus Christ.
Balance is a fear too, and it makes me so much more reliant on God for almost every thing. It's a hard position to be in.
But I do want to be committed to God. Fully, wholly, His.
--MovingGirl
What is our goal here on earth?
Are we driven by a purpose?
Are our hearts totally on fire for our Master and Lord Jesus Christ?
Are we committed to the point where nothing else matters but God?
I've been challenged. And I'm scared of myself because I know I can't trust myself.
So I purely have to trust the Lord. To teach me, to guide me, to protect me as he will, to be the loving Father, to be the Just King...
I have to start putting on my armour every day. To start memorizing scripture and getting it in my heart. I may never have the experiences with the darkness that I've read about, but in my day to day activities they are needed as well. I can't trust myself to be intelligent enough. So I rely upon God for my wisdom and his humbling. Because pride is something I struggle with.
Other people have doubts about whether or not I could ever be that committed to God. I do too. But the truth is I could never do anything without God's strength and his help. If he ever asks something like this from me, I know that he would give me what I needed to do it. Through the power of Jesus Christ.
Balance is a fear too, and it makes me so much more reliant on God for almost every thing. It's a hard position to be in.
But I do want to be committed to God. Fully, wholly, His.
--MovingGirl
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Saved
Read a book las night that I have a feeling will change my life, but as it is so intense, I'm not actually going to post the title here. I pray that if there is a need for one to read it that God would bring it to them in His timing. I needed to read it.
And spent all night going from the Bible, to prayer, to worship, to the book, to shivering, to gagging, and back to the Bible. I was up till 5am and had a hard time falling asleep. Didn't finish it in one night, still reading it.
The cover picture grabbed me. You know, I think every good, intensely helpful and/or insightful book I've read has been from the 70's or 80's with home-made style artwork covers. Aka corny looking. But I really could say that they are the good ones.
Not really sure what to say about the book. All I know is the change that is taking place inside of me. God is working to make something out of me, what I know not. But I do know that there is an awareness that comes. An eye-opening. Certain books do that. They shock you awake. Ones that have done this before for me were Katherine Baxter's Divine Revelation of Hell, and Rick Joyner's Final Quest and The Call. I believe in reading through books like that with the Holy Spirit and a Bible. Don't take everything as it is, but test it against the scripture, ask God to reveal these things to you.
It's strange. Life. The physical and spiritual...God is amazing, though. I'm so happy with Him.
May God bless the readers with the truth and the knowledge they need to walk with Him. I know I can only be there with his strength.
--MovingGirl
And spent all night going from the Bible, to prayer, to worship, to the book, to shivering, to gagging, and back to the Bible. I was up till 5am and had a hard time falling asleep. Didn't finish it in one night, still reading it.
The cover picture grabbed me. You know, I think every good, intensely helpful and/or insightful book I've read has been from the 70's or 80's with home-made style artwork covers. Aka corny looking. But I really could say that they are the good ones.
Not really sure what to say about the book. All I know is the change that is taking place inside of me. God is working to make something out of me, what I know not. But I do know that there is an awareness that comes. An eye-opening. Certain books do that. They shock you awake. Ones that have done this before for me were Katherine Baxter's Divine Revelation of Hell, and Rick Joyner's Final Quest and The Call. I believe in reading through books like that with the Holy Spirit and a Bible. Don't take everything as it is, but test it against the scripture, ask God to reveal these things to you.
It's strange. Life. The physical and spiritual...God is amazing, though. I'm so happy with Him.
May God bless the readers with the truth and the knowledge they need to walk with Him. I know I can only be there with his strength.
--MovingGirl
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Magnify
I wonder why I write this...
Haven't typed in a while because I've been in a place where I act fine but I'm not. I have major problems, and sometimes those problems sneak up and bite me and I am lying wounded, and lost for days.
This is what it looks like:
I'm walking the path with Jesus, and it's good, but tough. I look over and see another path running parellel to the one I'm on, I wave at Jesus and jump over to the other one, completely defiant, thinking I'm going to try this one for a while, even knowing it's wrong. I smile back at Jesus, and keep walking, but soon, before I know it, my steps are coming slower and slower, and my smile turns. I look down at my feet to see me trudging through mud and Jesus on the other path suddenly seems so far away. Then suddenly I can move no more and I just start sinking. I keep sinking because I'm struggling to get out (like quicksand) on my own, and the more I do so the more I fall. It never occurs to me to call out for help because I got myself into this mess. Then I'm under...lost, in a dark, cold pit where I can't breathe, can't see. Can't even cry out for help.
And in reality I can't look at my eyes any more because they scare me.
So I'm drowning in a pit of my own making, and I usually sit there for several days. Until something wakes me up to the fact that there is an arm in front of me that has been there all along...God just waiting for me to acknowledge him. He pulls me out, and then begins our journey back to the path I'm supposed to be on.
It scares me sometimes, how easy it is to fall back. How simple it is to ignore the chains slowly growing stronger, binding you to what God has already set you free from. I don't want to be in bondage to the dark anymore. I let it have three years of my life, I'm only a year free.
I've realized, now, that sometimes I can recognize it. The darkness in other people. I can see the bondage at times. Know what it is and understand where they are at. I don't know what to think of this new-found realization. Or what to do with it. I can pray for the people, I suppose.
God is really, really good. And it just seems to magnify my badness at times. Thankfully he loves me in spite of it all.
I'm visionary as much as I am visual. I thrive with changes, and work well with objectives. I'm interactive and a people person, but at the same time need my alone time. This move seems to be tearing me apart. I'm just hoping it's God's hands doing the pulling, and that it will be God's hands that put me back together again.
--MovingGirl
Haven't typed in a while because I've been in a place where I act fine but I'm not. I have major problems, and sometimes those problems sneak up and bite me and I am lying wounded, and lost for days.
This is what it looks like:
I'm walking the path with Jesus, and it's good, but tough. I look over and see another path running parellel to the one I'm on, I wave at Jesus and jump over to the other one, completely defiant, thinking I'm going to try this one for a while, even knowing it's wrong. I smile back at Jesus, and keep walking, but soon, before I know it, my steps are coming slower and slower, and my smile turns. I look down at my feet to see me trudging through mud and Jesus on the other path suddenly seems so far away. Then suddenly I can move no more and I just start sinking. I keep sinking because I'm struggling to get out (like quicksand) on my own, and the more I do so the more I fall. It never occurs to me to call out for help because I got myself into this mess. Then I'm under...lost, in a dark, cold pit where I can't breathe, can't see. Can't even cry out for help.
And in reality I can't look at my eyes any more because they scare me.
So I'm drowning in a pit of my own making, and I usually sit there for several days. Until something wakes me up to the fact that there is an arm in front of me that has been there all along...God just waiting for me to acknowledge him. He pulls me out, and then begins our journey back to the path I'm supposed to be on.
It scares me sometimes, how easy it is to fall back. How simple it is to ignore the chains slowly growing stronger, binding you to what God has already set you free from. I don't want to be in bondage to the dark anymore. I let it have three years of my life, I'm only a year free.
I've realized, now, that sometimes I can recognize it. The darkness in other people. I can see the bondage at times. Know what it is and understand where they are at. I don't know what to think of this new-found realization. Or what to do with it. I can pray for the people, I suppose.
God is really, really good. And it just seems to magnify my badness at times. Thankfully he loves me in spite of it all.
I'm visionary as much as I am visual. I thrive with changes, and work well with objectives. I'm interactive and a people person, but at the same time need my alone time. This move seems to be tearing me apart. I'm just hoping it's God's hands doing the pulling, and that it will be God's hands that put me back together again.
--MovingGirl
Friday, July 1, 2011
For Real
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
"The weapons of our warfare are not carnal in nature, but useful for the tearing down of strongholds..."
"...The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
When we whisper desperate prayers in hospital rooms. When we silently cry out to God at the news of a loved one's death. When we scream in the night for help because of fears that threaten to overtake us...who are we calling for? What are we praying against? Air?
Do we as Christians, believe in the unseen, or has it become simply a metaphorical battle in which good will triumph over evil in the end, but it will all be unseen, unheard, not felt?
How much have we been deceived into thinking that the atoms and molecules we sit on, drive, and eat are more real than the spiritual realm?
Who are we fighting against if not flesh and blood? Do we forget that?
I don't know how many of us have had the 'privilege' of experiencing the supernatural or the spiritual world up close. I think as children we are closer to it because of our innocence. Things such as angels, mermaids, and princes/princesses are easy to believe at a young age. God as well. And so I think that perhaps a lot of our younger experiences that we chalk up to little kids imaginations are truly more real than our 'reality'. I know why I was scared of the dark. Darkness itself can manifest in a room and sit in a corner. Just as God can surround me in a golden cloud of his warmth and love.
Imaginary friends may not be so imaginary once you start to get the child talking about them.
I am beginning to wonder how much of my life I'm missing because I walk in the physical world too much. There is a balance, yes. You can overboard either way, yes. But if we are truly walking with God in his light and presence, how much more will we 'see'?
I think we have relegated the spiritual world to bible lessons and over-amped Pentecostals. But there is a balance, right? So maybe we're both a little off.
Too many people hold those experiences inside for fear of being labeled whatever label is popular at the moment. I know this only because once sharing my own experiences, they seem to bubble up out of others who are so relieved to find someone else who understands. Relieved. Which is part of the reason FirePlace was started. So that we could all discuss these things that are frowned upon in some churches, or intimidating in others.
What does my prayer look like in the spiritual realm? What does my sin cause and effect?
I think in images. So to me this is what I think of when I pray sometimes, or when I am tempted, or sin. What is going on in the spiritual realm at that moment of temptation? What about when I'm attacked?
It's real...
--MovingGirl
"The weapons of our warfare are not carnal in nature, but useful for the tearing down of strongholds..."
"...The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
When we whisper desperate prayers in hospital rooms. When we silently cry out to God at the news of a loved one's death. When we scream in the night for help because of fears that threaten to overtake us...who are we calling for? What are we praying against? Air?
Do we as Christians, believe in the unseen, or has it become simply a metaphorical battle in which good will triumph over evil in the end, but it will all be unseen, unheard, not felt?
How much have we been deceived into thinking that the atoms and molecules we sit on, drive, and eat are more real than the spiritual realm?
Who are we fighting against if not flesh and blood? Do we forget that?
I don't know how many of us have had the 'privilege' of experiencing the supernatural or the spiritual world up close. I think as children we are closer to it because of our innocence. Things such as angels, mermaids, and princes/princesses are easy to believe at a young age. God as well. And so I think that perhaps a lot of our younger experiences that we chalk up to little kids imaginations are truly more real than our 'reality'. I know why I was scared of the dark. Darkness itself can manifest in a room and sit in a corner. Just as God can surround me in a golden cloud of his warmth and love.
Imaginary friends may not be so imaginary once you start to get the child talking about them.
I am beginning to wonder how much of my life I'm missing because I walk in the physical world too much. There is a balance, yes. You can overboard either way, yes. But if we are truly walking with God in his light and presence, how much more will we 'see'?
I think we have relegated the spiritual world to bible lessons and over-amped Pentecostals. But there is a balance, right? So maybe we're both a little off.
Too many people hold those experiences inside for fear of being labeled whatever label is popular at the moment. I know this only because once sharing my own experiences, they seem to bubble up out of others who are so relieved to find someone else who understands. Relieved. Which is part of the reason FirePlace was started. So that we could all discuss these things that are frowned upon in some churches, or intimidating in others.
What does my prayer look like in the spiritual realm? What does my sin cause and effect?
I think in images. So to me this is what I think of when I pray sometimes, or when I am tempted, or sin. What is going on in the spiritual realm at that moment of temptation? What about when I'm attacked?
It's real...
--MovingGirl
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