Buffet and Toss

So many lessons in so little time. A quick and getting quicker training period.
And to tell the truth, I'm afraid. I guess that shows my immaturity.
So many lessons...God's beginning to work in me in a way that is not anything I've experienced before and the more it happens the more I realize how horribly immature, unprepared, and childish (in a selfish way) I am.
Look at this post: I...I...I...I...I...
And I feel like I need to catalogue these lessons or I will forget them they are flying by so quick.
Healing a wounded heart...okay, that's sounds weird. But it was a lesson in trust, humility, and...learning to let go of the bitterness of the past, to let it dissolve in the depths of his love. Never realized that those words would actually come to mean something. I never realized I was bitter.
Haha...my name Mariah stems from the word that means "bitter".
But my middle name means Rejoicing Child.
To rejoice. To praise. It's amazing what a good song or two can do for your mood.
The one that I've been singing to myself lately (I actually sound okay because it fits my range) is Yes Lord.
"I am pressed, but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond this curse for his promise will endure
And the Lord's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night, the joy comes with the morning
I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord..."
And I've had many moods lately. Sorrow, depression, joy, gladness, calm, hurt, confusion, awe...
And then we have God showing me some of my faults, a disciplining too.
Apparently I'm extremely lazy and should help out around the house more often. Okay, ouch.
Thanks God for that wonderful revelation.
Apparently I'm extremely weak. That's always fun to realize. So I get to hang out with God more often.
I like the word extreme right now, it seems to express a lot of my emotion.
Like extremely...uh, buffeted? That's how I feel, like a little doll in a big ocean with the waves tossing me every which way...when did I get out of the boat?
Anyway, these lessons are still making their way to my heart.
And on top of it all is this crushing sorrow for Japan. And nervousness at what comes next. God is on the move, the heavens are stirring and the winds are blowing. Buffeting me or something.
I'm high on coffee, that's why my post reads a bit more weird than normal, if I'm ever normal.

Welcome to the battle, are you ready to rumble?

"Blessed beyond this curse for His promise will endure, His joy's gonna be my strength."


--MovingGirl