And I'm not referring to our change of location either. Rather, I'm talking about what God is beginning to do in the world, in Alaska, and in the people around me. Sometimes I feel like everything is moving too fast, even though I know things are happening in God's timing, it makes it hard to slow down, or to acknowledge that you are going slow. Sometimes I feel way too unprepared, not ready, and behind when I hear about cool things God is beginning to do. And other times I just get more excited. But tonight I had a more intense moment of "Oh, my word, God, wait for us!"
I don't know what that means, but it seems like I was right about the snowball effect...things are speeding up at a fast rate and I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed. By God himself, not even by the circumstances as much. All of a sudden he's making himself known to me in all these different ways, I'm experiencing him so intensely, he's awe-ing me with his glory and magnificence and I simply feel overwhelmed. And unprepared. I'm not ready for this. I'm not. And to tell the truth I'm in fear of God and his might at the moment. Suddenly everything is put into a perspective where I am like a neutron with no force to keep me in place. I'm afraid of spinning out of control and therefore want to slow down, but I'm afraid of that too because I feel unprepared already and need to speed up.
Yikes!
Craziness just became a reality as I try to wrap my tiny little mind around God's bigness. It's impossible, yes. But I have a personality that likes to have a plan, takes things in order, and be in some semblence of control and that is not what you get in relationship with God.
That and school just started up again. I feel overwhelmed
What to do what to do? I'm not ready to take on all this. I'm just not feeling ready.
--MovingGirl
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