It's amazing how a few days can turn into a month when you are busy. What I meant to be a daily post totally fell off the map. Through no fault of my own, though. I lost the book for a good two weeks and then finally found it and forgot it. I'll start it up again once I start up writing again.
I'm actually on my lunch break from work, trying to maintain a positive attitude about going back. I SO do not want to be there. All the university students are just now returning and buying all there supplies for the next semester, and I'm ringing up their items with jealousy, so frustrated that I am unable to do the same. I'm ready for school again. I'm SO ready to be finished. To complete my degree. To learn more Japanese. I want to continue so bad and I'm extremely frustrated at not being able to. We are still in the RV, we haven't even been able to move on a house yet and my job just gets more boring with every scanned item.
I'm struggling with my faith right now. I'm struggling with walking the light path. It's so easy to want to fade into the dark when you can't see, only feel.
I want to be done surviving, I want to live. Things are starting to move around us, and we feel the tension of it all, but we are held still, all the while energy growing around us.
I'm so tired anymore. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. I want to quit and work more at the same time. I'm just so exhausted. And this is not the first cycle. This is the third cycle I've gone through. I'm sick of it.
Jesus, what happened? Why can't we move? Is it something we haven't done yet, or a prayer that needs to be prayed? Is it a heart change? A different scope?
The camper keeps getting smaller and smaller...God we need more grace to last this season out. We are ready to say goodbye to our old lives...
--MovingGirl
P.S. Or vision. Something to be excited about again.
Love you Jesus.
No comments:
Post a Comment